Beyond your Peripheral Vision

I am an "and"

2008-11-12T19:55:00.002-07:00

It's official. My husband and I are one. This is a big step. Bigger than the temple sealing. We have a joint blog.

No worries. We will never get a joint facebook account.

I may still post on my blog, but refer to this one from now on. Tim's pretty funny too, so be prepared to hear from him as well for a good laugh. He can also be serious though. We're great collaborators. It should be fun.

An honor code thought

2008-11-12T19:40:00.001-07:00

Under "Live a Chaste and Virtuous Life"
a. Repeated stereotypical gender-based remarks

If this were enforced like facial hair, half of the student body would be ousted tomorrow.

Another letter....

2008-11-11T15:43:00.002-07:00

Dear Baby Simon,

Please stay in your mom's uterus for nine more weeks, ok? You can't possibly be ready to come out after only 27 weeks. I'm sure it's real nice in there! I know you are eager to meet your cool siblings and parents, but you have eternity to be with them and by the time you're a teenager... well. You get my point. Please. Just a few more months. You need to get a little cuter.

Love,
Your favorite aunt Cay-Cay

Letters by Caitlin

2008-11-11T11:01:00.003-07:00

Letters by Caitlin. (brought to you by Kayla and Thelma)

Dear 2.61% of Utah voters,

Why, oh why, did you vote for SUPERDELL for Governor of Utah? Besides the plethora of criminal charges that include paragliding over I-15 in rush hour traffic, he is also a ridiculously racist bigot. He called homosexuals faggots, once said a fictitious Native American tribe died out because they were not intellectual enough (and then "Schanze refused [to apologize] in an email sent to the entire company further disparaging Native Americans and stating that all Native Americans are adulterers due to the naming of the Bureau of Indian "Affairs"), and proclaimed the only reason his critics were still alive was by the grace of God and SUPERDELL. He was also banned from editing on Wikipedia (according to Wikipedia). Did you know ANYTHING before you went into that voting booth? ANYTHING?

Sincerely,
A very concerned citizen

Dear University towing company,

How come you towed my car Friday night during my hot date to the international cinema? Do you think your one little sign up in the corner on the side of the building is really adequate to let people know they cannot park in your large, usually empty, and practically deserted parking lot after the hour of 8 pm? You are jerks.

Sincerely,
Why is it always me?

Dear Prop 8 protestors,

I'm with you. But please do not call my prophet names. I respect your right to protest, and I agree with you on many accords, but that is just not right in my book.

Sincerely,
A faithful saint against Prop 8

Dear husband,

Why are you so dang hot? I like when you break the honor code. Facial hair looks great on you.

Sincerely,
Your adoring wife

2008-11-07T11:43:00.003-07:00

My thoughts on this Friday:

1. I love that the Wilk now has plastics recycling.
2. I'm still kind of dumbfounded by the fact that I am married and can walk around naked in my apartment in front of a boy.
3. I love Michelle Obama. She is intelligent, beautiful, independent, supportive of her husband, and seems like a really great mother. And I liked her dress.

3.5. Barack Obama is president-elect of the United States. That. is. awesome. I have so much faith in him to fix our screwed-up country.

4. In half an hour, I get to go to an exclusive "department review" luncheon for 20 poli sci students. Free food.
5. The Pennyroyal Cafe opens tonight! Feeding real food to desperate vegetarians and vegans since 2008.
6. And this, from Charla: "but you found each other! huzzah for byu. bringing libs, dems, and independents together from necessity since its inception"

Prop 8 yet again

2008-11-06T12:50:00.002-07:00

"Before it accepted the invitation to join broad-based coalitions for the amendments, the Church knew that some of its members would choose not to support its position. Voting choices by Latter-day Saints, like all other people, are influenced by their own unique experiences and circumstances. As we move forward from the election, Church members need to be understanding and accepting of each other and work together for a better society" (lds.org source).

Don't judge.

My lovely friend Weston says they are still talking about me in his religion class. I'm infamous!

Google Analytics rocks

2008-11-06T09:17:00.002-07:00

The number four search engine keyword that goes to my blog is "yemeni girls naked".

I think the perverts will be sorely disappointed.

I can't sleep I'm so annoyed

2008-11-05T06:29:00.002-07:00

While grateful that the American public had sense enough to vote the best man into the most important office, my happiness at an Obama presidency is overshadowed by my extreme annoyance at the narrow-minded voters of Utah County.

That's right. They elected this idiot over Claralyn. Please just read their bios on their respective websites. Then you will understand where I am coming from. However, Claralyn did get 42% of the votes in a very, VERY RED district so that's awesome. But. Chris Herrod, the skeezy, unethical, cheating loser is once again the representative for 62. There will be no happy concession speech here (by the way... Senator McCain's made me cry).

Oh, and it's seems like Prop 8 is going to pass? I have mixed feelings.
Prop 4 failed though. Phew. I can still have faith in California.

Famous voters

2008-11-04T15:40:00.002-07:00

I witnessed Donny Osmond voting today. It was AWESOME. My mom would have died.

He walked in and there was just something about him that I couldn't put my finger on. The poll worker asked his name, and said Osmond (ohhhh) is the last name, and the poll worker asked him his first name and he said Donald (ahhhh). He struck up a conversation with me. He asked me if Nader was still on the ballot. I told him yes. He said good, I'm voting for Nader. So you have it folks.

T minus 10 hours

2008-11-03T20:58:00.003-07:00

I am legit nervous about the election tomorrow. I have invested so much time, thought, and effort into Claralyn's campaign (though it doesn't touch the effort she put in...) and I can't believe it all is coming to an end. What will I do in the evenings when I don't have doors to knock or volunteers to call? I will probably catch back up on my school work and actually see my husband.

I will be sorely disappointed if the uninformed Utah Countyians elect Chris Herrod. Claralyn is clearly the better candidate, more informed, more intelligent, and WAY WAY more ethical. From the disappearing signs to the spies among us, Herrod's campaign has continually tried to sabotage Claralyn's, and I do not think that his constituents even realize who they are putting into office if they elect him simply because he's the Republican candidate. And I know Claralyn doesn't want power or prestige but is simply doing this to serve her community and listen to her constituents. She has dedicated her life to bettering the lives of those around her, and with this campaign she saw a need and chose to do something about it. And she is just really cool.

Polls open in 10 hours in Utah. Wish us luck!

Obama-Biden '08-- YEAHHHHH

2008-11-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

On Saturday morning, we left for Grand Junction, Colorado with the BYU Democrats to campaign for Senator Obama. After a four hour drive and a little detour (Grand Junction is the most confusing city ever to navigate), we arrived at the Obama headquarters at 844 Grand Avenue. When we arrived, they were in the middle of a cook-out, so we got veggie burgers, potato salad, and as much dessert as we could hold. They then sent us to the canvassing location, where we got our assignments, and knocked doors for fours hours. Most everyone was pretty friendly; this area of Colorado is fairly conservative but there is a strong Obama base as well. I met two little boys, probably nine years old, who had quite the opinion about the candidates. The one was undecided over who to vote for because in his words, “Obama doesn't salute the flag.... but McCain wants to ban abortion and then if a little girl got raped, she would die.... so I just don't know”. Lucky for him, he does not have to decide like the rest of us. I also met an older lady, slightly cooky, who declared that I need to change my vote (good thing I voted early for Obama!) because he is an ISLAM. He's not a Christian. He doesn't believe in God (hmm... well, it's obvious he's Christian, and anyways, Muslims do believe in God? No?) I thanked her politely for her opinion and moved on.

After canvassing and dinner (they fed us so well!), we went back to find a home to sleep in for the night. When we walked to the back of main headquarters, we found everyone huddled around the phone because Senator Obama was getting ready to be on the line for a conference call!! We got to be there when he came on the line (for like 2 minutes), and it was SO NEAT. It was cool to hear him talk to us (and I use us very loosely), it was very inspirational. He told us not to be complacent even though we are ahead, and to keep working hard, not sleeping until after the election. I felt as if I were a part of history in that room, looking around at all of the volunteers who worked so hard to get this wonderful man elected. I love Barack Obama. I love Colorado.

We got our house assignment and spent the night on a futon, woke up early, headed to Church, and then canvassed more. After canvassing, we headed home so that we could make it in time for the fireside. It was a great weekend. And it was all paid for! Thanks Senator Obama (and everyone that donated to you... come to think of it, I guess the money that Tim donated to the campaign kind of evened out this weekend for us).

Colorado

2008-10-31T09:35:00.001-06:00

We're going to Colorado this weekend to campaign for Obama!

The Women of Genesis series

2008-10-30T15:23:00.002-06:00

I never thought I would fall in love with Orson Scott Card's writing. I always knew of books like Ender's Game, but never took the time to read them mostly because they just seemed like superficial Mormon literature at first glance. However, recently I have read all three of the Women of Genesis series (on Tim's recommendation and I love them! His writing style is captivating, they are very well-researched, and it's the Bible from the women's perspective.... what more could you need? I am highly impressed with his ability to get inside of these women's minds while knowing so little about their life stories except the basics in the Old Testament. Moreover, it's really humanized these faithful and brave women for me, especially as I go back and reread the passages in Genesis that talk about them. Sometimes, I get angry at the lack of representation of women in leadership positions within the Church, past and present. But then I think about those select women who have status, somewhat, and I delight in their accomplishments. I think our vision is skewed by the world. Women have been made invisible for so long, even by righteous peoples. I think Card did us all a favor by bringing their stories to life and making them visible, though it is only works of fiction. It's a start, and it gives me hope that somewhere there are lost manuscripts of women's experiences with divinity. The book of Sariah. Of Rachel. Of Vashti. Of the daughters of Zelophehad. Of Mary. There are so many righteous and brave feminist women in the Bible. I just wish we knew more about them.

And I hope Orson Scott Card and his family got the wedding invitation we sent them :)

WomanStats blog!

2008-10-28T14:36:00.003-06:00

WomanStats has a blog! Hooray!

BYUSSR

2008-10-28T11:30:00.003-06:00

BYU is brainwashing its students, once again. The campus devotional today was a subversive tool to support its position on Proposition 8. Not only was the speaker an ultra-conservative philosopher, he managed to slip the word "proposition" more times than normal.

The loveliness of life

2008-10-23T19:24:00.006-06:00

Where is my husband? I do not know. Dinner is getting cold...

While I'm waiting for my love to get home from campus, I think I will blog. I am losing inspiration lately. There is not much going on besides school, work, work, work, campaign, campaign, campaign, and Parity, Parity, Parity with the occasional social outing. We are living the married life, and living it good. Tim is realizing what a terrible, but ambitious, chef I am. I am realizing that Tim is a lot cleaner than I thought he'd be. We are both realizing living together and being married is not as hard as everyone made it out to be. Disagreements are few and far between. Not to say it's blissful all the time, but comfortable and calm at the least. I really like it.

This past Saturday, we were lazy. LAZY. We laid out our hippie, South American style blanket that we got at Goodwill on James Island in SC, and made a picnic lunch (carried by Katy's beautiful basket.)

It was wonderful. The sun was shining, the shade was perfect, and the company was divine.

We laid out for hours reading and napping, finally ending the afternoon with a trip to the temple for proxy sealings (because getting married again is so cool!) After the temple we went to Emily and CB's reception, then over to Carl and Gloria's house for political discussions. It was a wonderful Saturday.

Pick your Spot

2008-10-22T13:20:00.002-06:00

I took this quiz that told me the top 24 places I should live based on lifestyle and preference. My results included a lot of cities in Oregon (which is one state I've never been too) and a few other random ones.

1. Portland, OR
2. Eugene, OR
3. Little Rock, AR
4. New Haven, CT
5. Providence, RI
6. Honolulu, HI
7. Corvallis, OR
8. Salem, OR
9. Shreveport-Bossier City, LA
10. Hartford, CT
11. Santa Cruz, CA
12. Alexandria, LA
13. Medford, OR
14. Baton Rouge, LA
15. Valencia, CA
16. Baltimore, MD
17. Santa Barbara, CA
18. Danbury, CT
19. Ventura, CA
20. San Bernardino, CA
21. Fayetteville, AK
22. Boston, MA
23. Monroe, LA
24. Worcester, MA

Louisiana? I thought that was a little random. And rich-y places like Santa Barbara? Hmm... average house price is a million something. No thanks.

Mine's pretty similar to Austin's. This bodes well since our families will eventually live together one day.

So over the wedding posts...

2008-10-21T10:30:00.002-06:00

So it's been a month. A month! I've been married a month. I can't get over how foreign that concept is to me. When I look back and think that just about four months ago I barely knew Tim it just blows my mind how everything has fallen into place so wonderfully. He is my best friend! He is so easy to talk to and we have so much fun together. He's hilarious. I love our pillow talk at night before we collapse into each other's arms exhausted. He makes me smile on a regular basis. I am happy.

But, the wedding is over. It was wonderful. I will no longer post about it :)

I also really want to make my blog cool. I don't know how. Will someone teach me? Are there websites with templates? Please assist my uncreative soul.

Speaking of uncreative, I hate referring to myself as that. I am not artistically gifted in most ways. But I am a creator. I went through a program last year called "The Artist's Way" with some friends of mine. Although I did not follow it as faithfully as I could have, it opened up my eyes to many areas of my life that are long neglected. While I do not have the capacity or the patience to create works of art on a canvas, I write. I love to write. I write amazing 15-page political science research papers. Maybe that does not seem like art to most, but at the end, when I read that finished product, I know I have accomplished something worthwhile. It is discouraging to have talents that are not quite as visible as "L"'s paintings or Ash Mae's creativity or John's violin-playing because they are oft forgotten by even myself, but I know that my creative talents are manifest in different ways. For example, I have an amazing photographic memory. I can remember phone numbers after dialing them once. I remember birthdays of long-lost friends. I read something once and it sticks with me forever. It is a very neat talent of mine. I like myself. I am creative. I just do not know how to make a cute blog.

The swanky reception

2008-10-14T16:33:00.003-06:00

Pictures from our swanky reception at the Officers' Club on Fort Jackson in South Carolina. For more pictures, click here.

A few of my favorites (um, LOVE the one with Tim dancing with my cousin's little girl. And Tim and Ethan hugging. Love, love, love.)

Enough of all this serious talk.... our honeymoon!

2008-10-13T12:32:00.006-06:00

We had a great honeymoon (minus the third-degree sunburn and tropical storm) in Charleston, SC. The first day of our honeymoon was actually spent at my parent's house, since they were all still in Utah and didn't check in to the hotel until 3 pm. We slept in their bed, woke up late, and lazily made our way to Charleston. Our hotel was part of this timeshare deal, and we were the only people there not in the AARP and Medicare. Nonetheless, our room was super nice (with a fireplace and all) and we had a good time walking around the city.

We went to the Aquarium... I was like a little kid playing in the touch exhibit, and Tim really liked this metal frog.

... we found random old houses to explore.

And we went to the beach before the tropical storm actually hit (it was so windy and cold though... tainting Tim's first experience with Carolina beaches).

Seriously??

2008-10-10T10:05:00.002-06:00

There was also a letter to the editor today that compared Obama to Hitler because the writer's great-uncle got the same feeling from listening to Obama as he got from listening to Hitler, and this is why we should not vote for him.

"He told us he had a very distinct feeling of how evil Hitler was... and that he had the exact same feeling when he heard Obama speak... I'm not a hard-core Republican or anything, but since he received the same revelation for these two people, shouldn't we be doing something?"

I'm not going to judge. But COME ON! I bet he won't get hate mail and no one will question his faith.

Um, yes, I have a temple recommend

2008-10-10T09:48:00.003-06:00

So, after my little rant was published today in the DU, I have received an onslaught of hate e-mails from fellow BYU students featuring a multitude of ad hominem attacks about my faith. I was told I need to be more in tune with the teachings of the Church, listen to the prophet a little harder, keep my temple covenants (because as one person wrote, "Some of us keep are temple covenants" by voting for a political issue!?) and actually, I kid you not, one person told me that I should not be allowed to call myself LDS.

And one other thing: I do in fact respect all of those out there in favor of Prop 8. Thank you for your input, and I welcome rousing political discussion on this blog. I respect everyone's opinion, especially those who have worked through the issue intellectually and aren't following our leaders blindly. I honestly do not think the prophet himself would want us to not question his positions. We are given our minds for a reason. I was simply expressing my thoughts about how narrow the fight on Prop 8 has been on our campus. And I think what scares me a little is how it is reminiscent of the position of the Church in the 1970s against the ERA. If you aren't familiar with that, it was the Equal Rights amendment, guaranteeing equality between the sexes. The Church also made a statement against that warning that it might "stifle many God-given feminine instincts" (as well other reasons, including the fact that it may turn people homosexual... go figure), but I think Church doctrine has changed considerably in three decades, and cannot imagine such a statement now.

What I'm trying to get at here is please, please, please don't attack my faith and things I truly do hold very dear to my heart. Thank you. I do listen to the prophet. I do love this Gospel. I just simply want more people to think before they vote, and see the adverse effects that Prop 8 could have on the Church.

Also, I want to express my belief in freedom of speech for all of those pro-Patriotism Sarah Palin types out there. Ok, and you must read this editorial. It's brilliant.

A veritable deluge of wedding pictures

2008-10-09T11:06:00.002-06:00

Because it's hilarious....

2008-10-08T16:02:00.002-06:00

My niece's reaction when she learned my sister was having another boy.

Go here.

Prop 8

2008-10-08T13:54:00.004-06:00

I know I'm on a completely different page than practically everyone at BYU when it comes to the passage of Proposition 8 in California. And since I'm not a California resident, I have no ability to even vote on the matter. But I just take issue with the extent to which the Church is supporting and encouraging members to vote for Proposition 8 (for those who don't know, the initiative seeks to define marriage as between man and woman only, intending to trump the most recent California legislation allowing same-gender couples to marry). Frankly, I'm quite appalled that Church members are so gung-ho supportive of Prop 8. Personally, I am not supportive of gay "marriage". Yes, I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. However, when two consenting, responsible adults have a committed relationship for long periods of time, I do support their civil rights including hospital visitation, filing taxes jointly, sharing health insurance, etc. and if they want to call that marriage, who are we to tell them they cannot?

What will homosexual marriage do to you? Honestly? Is it going to ruin your life? Then why would you vote for a proposition that will in fact ruin someone else's? To me, it just does not seem very Christ-like. Same-sex attraction is very much a biologically-driven lifestyle, and for those without the Gospel, that lifestyle hurts no one. Research has proven that children raised by homosexual couples are just as well-adjusted, do just as well in school, and have no greater chance of being gay. There was a pamphlet being distributed to members of the Church from an anonymous source with many false and misleading statements regarding the consequences of Prop 8 not being passed. Professor Morris Thurston, a Harvard-educated law professor at BYU, wrote a response to the pamphlet. You can find it here.

Voting for Proposition 8 simply hurts the Church. It hurts those men and women within the Church who struggle with same-sex attraction. It hurts our image. It turns people against the Church. Joseph Smith once said that he teaches his people correct principles and allows them to govern themselves. We have been taught the correct principle regarding same-sex attraction and acting on those tendencies. Now let's try out a little agency and govern ourselves while allowing others to make their own decisions without the government interfering.

Beng married.

2008-10-04T18:50:00.003-06:00

Two weeks in, I'm feeling pretty good about this whole getting married thing. We rearranged our apartment last night, and I'm feeling a lot better about it. We feng-shuied it and opened up the space a lot. We bought plastic Sterilite drawers for our clothes, so we no longer have the huge piles of clean/dirty clothes. Every night is like a sleepover with my best friend... it's great!

story of my life.

2008-10-02T10:18:00.003-06:00

It is simply unethical to issue speeding citations to newly-married, incredibly poor, stressed out, late to class, crying students. Even if they are speeding down a hill going almost 20 over. URGH!

This story is too good to be left unblogged

2008-09-30T16:44:00.002-06:00

Disclosure: If you are under 18 or are easily offended, do not read on.

On our wedding night we stayed at this sweet resort up at Snowbird in the canyon (ok, I digress: after the reception, Tim and I went to IHOP on the way to the hotel, wedding attire and all. We were hungry, people stared, it was awesome.) We get into our room and collapse into bed exhausted. About an hour or so later, we hear noises emitting from the room adjoining ours. The noises get louder and louder. They go on and on and on. It must have been for half an hour. The girl must have had about 8 orgasms. SERIOUSLY. It was out of control. And she was LOUD.

Talk about a memorable wedding night.

Tim and I awkwardly try to fall asleep. He looks at me all dejected and disappointed and asks "Is it supposed to sound like that?"

Ummmmm...... "eventually" I reply.

I'M MARRIED!

2008-09-27T08:56:00.003-06:00

Yes it's true! I actually did it. Can you believe it?

It was wonderful. WONDERFUL. The most perfect day, right down to the torrential downpour as soon as we walked out of the temple. Our photographer, Mo, was awesome. The pictures turned out GREAT (my favorite thing: rather than taking pictures beside the reflection pond in front of the temple, we actually waded to the middle and shot pictures from there. We were famous. People all around temple square grabbed their cameras and started snapping shots... it was hilarious!). And the receptions were so fun! In Utah, the ice cream was great, the people were great, the live music was great. In South Carolina... um, holy cow did my Mom go ALL OUT. The cake-beautiful. The flowers-ridiculous. Opening wedding presents is Christmas on crack. It rocked.

The best part: TIM! Being sealed to the my most favorite person on earth. I love being married to him! The honeymoon was great... it was so nice to just lay in bed all day and bask in each other's presence. Being in love is wonderful! And we have so much fun together. And he's just SO freakin' attractive!

I am the luckiest. It's true. THE luckiest. Ever. I snagged the greatest guy on the planet. Sorry gals :)

Stephanie and Christian Nielson

2008-09-14T10:55:00.003-06:00

I woke up this morning to the Daily Herald on the driveway of the shelter, pulled the rubberband off the immense bundle of Sunday news, and found the front page. As I began reading the cover story, my jaw absolutely dropped and my heart sank. Stephanie Nielson, a quite famous blogger and inspiration to all mothers and would-be mothers, was in a plane crash a little while back with her husband. The pilot died, while they are both in critical condition. I went to her blog immediately, and then linked to her sister's to read about what happened. They both suffered severe burns along with other injuries, and both are in very critical condition still. c jane's blogposts about the past few weeks are beautiful. She sees the opportunity for joy and learning and understanding arising from this tragedy (though she is inclined to say it is not a tragedy, as she witnesses how it has brought her family together, how real-friends and blog-friends have taken up the cause, and how Stephanie's spirit resides in each one of her children).

I loved reading her blog. I fell in love with her beautiful red-headed Jane, her spunky Claire, adorable Oliver, and funny little Nicholas. She has a passion for motherhood. She is crazy head-over-heels in love with her husband. She is an artsy vegetarian who is always taking her children on adventures and doing homemade crafts with them. As a person in the present and in the future as a mother, I hope I can be as good as Stephanie Nielson. She and Mr. Nielson have a long road of recovery ahead of them, so please pray with the thousands of others for their well-being and the well-being of their four beautiful children.

SINGLE DIGITS.

2008-09-11T18:25:00.003-06:00

Oh man. I'm getting married in nine days. NINE DAYS. This is an incredibly surreal feeling. Right now, sitting in the library next to this cool kid, I just can't wait. Any last minute marital advice?

Back to school

2008-09-08T16:19:00.002-06:00

Another year, another year. I love school so much, I love going to classes, I love being productive, I love my job on-campus and off. I love the fact I'm getting married in 12 days. So I'm supposed to keep a daily gratitude journal for my women's health class, and while I probably won't blog about what I'm grateful for every day, here's the first entry.

I am grateful for:
-All the food my mom bought us
-Our tiny studio apartment
-The deliciously soft bedsheets we bought
-My job at the women's shelter and what these women teach me everyday
-Reunions with wonderful friends
-Temples and the opportunity to be sealed
-Oh, and Tim, he rocks.

NOTE: I am NOT grateful for oral contraceptives (sorry Margaret Sanger, but they wreak havoc on a woman's body). How does natural family planning sound to everyone out there? We'll let you know how that works out for us... :)

Being back in school is great. However, I've lost my concentration and ability to focus in most classes, probably due to my impending nuptials. I'm sure once we get back from the honeymoon, we'll get in a nice groove. Right now, being engaged just feels so unnatural. I just know I am supposed to marry Tim, and any time spent not married just seems superfluous. I love planning our future together. And we plan on being very, very happy.

I LOVE BEING IN LOVE.

2008-08-25T20:13:00.004-06:00

I'm sorry for gushing. But I couldn't help it after reading Becca's post. I just am so deliriously happy (besides the uncontrollable crying spells I've had the past week... stupid birth control) that I want the world to know and get sick to their stomachs over it! (sorry Katy!) It's just the coolest feeling in the world to look at this guy and know that he thinks about me so constantly, knows me so intimately, loves me so deeply. And I feel the same way about him! Every day, every time it just grows more and more intense (like the Native Americans). And I can't wait to be married to him and continue our lives together! I can't believe he's only been in my life just four short months... it feels like I've known him my whole life. And totally ditto Becca's sentiments-- we are SO perfect for each other. How could I or he have dated anybody else?? Silly silly silly. I'm through with ambiguous text messages and meaningless kisses and waiting by the phone and feeling miserable and unsure. I think we were on our second hang-out, sitting on the trunk of his car when Tim looked at me and said "ummm... I like you... a lot" and I said YEAH BABY! Then, two weeks later, sitting on a rock high up in the Wyoming Tetons, I was the first to utter those first three words that will carry us through it all.

Ok, enough of the cheese. We hiked through a swamp today (no gorgeous mountain hikes here)... it was hot and muggy and smelled wonderfully of rotten tree trunks. It was peaceful and serene and I could do it the rest of my life with Tim by my side.

[Insert adorable kissing picture here]

Nauvoo

2008-08-25T19:59:00.004-06:00

On the way to South Carolina (yes, we were crazy enough to drive!) we stopped in Nauvoo and saw the sites. I hadn't been there in years, so it was neat to go through all of the little shops and houses again. We even went to the original Browning Arms shop, home of Tim's great-something grandfather! He got to sign the descendant book. I felt important.

I love this one! It was a statue, and the name of it was "Courtship for Eternity". I think that is so appropriate... and it sounds simply blissful.

On the banks of the Mississippi... Tim tried to teach me how to skip rocks, but I failed miserably!

We also had an opportunity to do baptisms in the Nauvoo temple. It was so cool to have Tim baptize me... I LOVE going to the temple with him. I think we will do it all the time!

Lake Powell

2008-08-25T19:45:00.004-06:00

So, this post is the start of a succession of posts regarding prior occurrences I neglected to blog about-- and I haven't yet perfected that getting all of the pictures into one post thing with the little comments underneath... so multiple posts will have to suffice for now.

First, LAKE POWELL!

And really first-- THE DRIVE TO LAKE POWELL!
So, apparently Lake Powell is a lot bigger than Tim and I thought. Well, I really didn't even know it existed except for I vaguely remember driving over it on the way to a certain Grand Canyon vacation. We were going to be staying on Tim's friend's family's houseboat and it was going to rock. We arrive at the docks after an 8-hour drive through NOWHERE (Southern Utah is.... bleh). Only to find out an hour later that we've gone to the wrong dock... we though, alright, hey, another hour drive will get us around, right? Well too bad there are no roads that will take you around the lake. You have to go all the way back to the interstate, around, swiggle around some mountains, go through some insane canyon passes where it is literally straight cliffs on either side... and all of this in the middle of the night. It was QUITE the adventure. A nice couple at the wrong docks gave us 100 bucks to see us through the night in case we needed to stop anywhere and get a hotel. We ended up camping for a few hours when I was just too exhausted to keep my eyes open. It was worth it though, because we woke up in the most beautiful valley and drove all morning. We finally arrived at the lake, after ten more hours of driving.... and had a GREAT TIME! Brock's family was so awesome to us, and there were friends and cousins and it was a blast. I jumped off a cliff! And learned to wake-surf (kind of) and we rode Jetskis and did tons of other cool stuff. But I think both of us realized a few days in that lake trips aren't REALLY our thing so we headed home early so Tim could get back to work and I could get a bunch of stuff done before the real road trip.

Pictures:

Weddings weddings weddings!

2008-08-25T19:20:00.006-06:00

Oh my! I can't believe how long it's been since I blogged... Well, wedding plans are well under way and invitations are out (if you'd like one, please do contact me as we have some extras). Other than planning a wedding and attending my brothers', the past few weeks have been surprisingly relaxing considering the amount of stress we've been under (oh no, it's begun. I'm already using "we" on my blog). I get to have my big bridal shower tomorrow, which I am very excited about!! Some women from my home ward are throwing it, so you know it'll be good. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited for kitchen gadgets.

Last weekend, my brother Devin got married to Hillary Tresnak in the Washington DC temple! It was so cool because Tim and I were able to attend the sealing in the temple, knowing that we will be the ones across the altar in TWENTY-FIVE DAYS. And the wedding reception... FABULOUS. I couldn't have done it better... I loved Hillary's dress, flowers (in fact, I'm totally stealing them), bridesmaid dresses (I AM stealing those)... everything! And now they are off honeymooning the Caribbean and we are beyond jealous.

They looked so beautiful and happy coming out of the temple:

And we had an awesome time together at the temple:

Ok. My fiance is HOT. That is all.

Just because.....

2008-08-05T17:14:00.002-06:00

I like him. That's all.

Engagement photos

2008-08-05T16:49:00.003-06:00

We need help! We are just too hot, and thus cannot pick our engagement photo for the invites. Please vote on your favorite...

#1:

#2:

#3:

#4:

#5:

#6:

#7:

Letter to the editor

2008-07-29T14:05:00.001-06:00

My second letter to the editor. This one actually made the paper!

Mountain Green the beautiful

2008-07-28T10:02:00.006-06:00

What a wonderful weekend. On Wednesday, my fantastic fiance and I headed up to his lovely hometown of Mountain Green, UT (Pop. 1600). It is beautiful and tranquil and picturesque. I love being there because it is such a foreign existence, small-town Utah. Everyone is Mormon. And so friendly and open and warm. And the small-town Utah life isn't so bad as I had made it out to be. We attended the July 24th festivities (for those of you not in Utah, that's Pioneer Day... about the equivalent of July 4th) where all the little families came out for face painting and volleyball and corn-on-the-cob. We swam in the local reservoir. We hiked up to the water tower. We hung out with old friends and welcomed home a missionary. The days were packed and the nights were relaxed, and I love spending every waking hour (and some sleeping hours... for which we were berated by his mother) with Tim. Getting to know his past is so great to me... it feels like I'm more a part of him than before. Understanding his past enables me to envision our future. The first 21 years of our lives were great, but we are looking forward to spending the next half-century or so completely devoted to each other in a wonderful, fulfilling and exciting marriage! Being engaged is cool and all, but I can't wait to be married to this kid. Two months. We took a detour to Temple Square on the way up to have a moment at "our" temple. While there, Tim did a real proposal, in front of the temple and all. It was fun.

Adventures in baby-sitting

2008-07-21T13:02:00.005-06:00

Recently, Tim and I have been practicing our parental skills on the bishop's kids. We're convinced he is actually just keeping us busy at night so we remain chaste while we're engaged. But we enjoy it either way :)

On one particular night, we ate at Rice King, got slurpees, played in the drainage system, and indulged in a rousing game of Settlers (which I won, I'd like to add)

Rice King and spoon-balancing.

Awkward picture... I think I was trying to pull him in.

Staged?

Settlers!

Indulging Kayla

2008-07-20T18:23:00.002-06:00

Ok. You asked for it Kayla :)

"But he continued, guiding her hand to his belt buckle while forcing off her clothes, the fleece, the soft T-shirt below that. He pulled down her jeans, revealing thighs that were chilled and reddened, as if from a sunburn. They took off their shoes and socks, a mess of wet grass clippings falling onto the carpet, then positioned themselves on the mattress..."

-Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri

Ok, so I cheated a bit on this one. The closest book was actually The Holy Temple by Boyd K. Packer but the sentences were boring so I grabbed the book I was reading last night. And technically this is page 126, but the first chapter starts on page 3, so technically it is page 123. Ironically enough, it's the only racy scene in the entire book. But they're married, so it's ok.

**NOTE: A game Kayla challenged me to- pick up the closest book and type the three sentences after the fifth sentence on page 123.

Planning the weddingness

2008-07-19T20:26:00.002-06:00

Ok. So I did not realize how extensive wedding planning is. My ideal reception is dancing in a poppy field to a folk band barefoot in a flowy, knee-length off-white dress. What's up with 700-dollar dresses and receptions in cultural halls and catering and flowers and luncheons and invitations and honeymoons and married housing and registering (ok, so that actually was REAL fun) and receiving lines and bridal showers and gazillions of other things I told myself I would never do but now I'm sucked into doing?? I will not let my wedding stress me out. That is for my mother to do :) Rather, I think I will choose to consume my thoughts with being sealed for time and all eternity to my best friend.

The proposal

2008-07-12T18:41:00.002-06:00

So remember the time I forgot to blog about the most important moment in my life??

Ok. It was a tad anti-climatic.

I'll try to make it sound cool.

Tim really does rock. He really did try.

So after the ring was boughten, Tim was eager to propose in a slightly wacky and spontaneous way. I was eager to accept. Ok, maybe I just really wanted to wear my ring....

After about a week of anxiety (I checked his pockets for the ring everywhere we went), Tim finally decided it was the day. He paid the snowcone kid 5 bucks to slip the ring into my snowcone on the way home from school...

I, however, had other ideas that included not meeting Tim to walk home because I was enjoying an illegal dip in the Lib Square pool. Plan foiled.

All night, Tim insisted on a snowcone. I kept rejecting him because they are kind of expensive, we were apartment shopping, and we had ice cream at home, of course.

During FHE, Tim slipped away from the sidewalk chalking and came back a few moments later... hmmm...

After apartment shopping (we didn't get the studio we so desperately wanted either, so it was a wasted night!) we went on-campus to look up a number and surfed the internet for a bit. Tim was acting all weird and quiet and I seriously had no idea what was up but I insisted on him telling me. He finally said (very exasperatedly) that he was going to propose but I had ruined it. I took pity on his poor soul and said, well just do it then! We sat on his bench (the car seat from his fan that has been reupholstered into a lovely little porch sofa), he got down on one knee, opened the ring box and....... DRUM ROLL PLEASE!! It wasn't there. He started digging through his pockets and was like crap, crap, where's the ring?? We had been at Smith's earlier and I was all scared it had fallen out and I was like seriously Tim? We need to go to Smith's and he thought about going along with it but then he got all cute and smiley and he's the least deceitful person I've ever met and so he was all like "let's eat ice cream now" and I'm all thinking, yeah. right. So we sit down and he starts to dig in. I know something's up at this point because he's being all cute and happy with the ice cream. So he digs the ring out of the ice cream (and now every anniversary we will eat Breyer's chocolate ice cream... good thing it wasn't Super Banana Chunky Oreo or some other faddish ice cream that will go out of style next year) and then REALLY gets down on one knee and says every cheesy line in the book ("You complete me" "Make me the happiest man alive" "I can't live without you" and of course "Will you marry me?") and then I say "Ummm... nah." But he knows I'm kidding so then I say "Alright, I guess so" but he still won't give me the ring so I finally break down and answer it all generic-like with simply a yes.

And that is how I officially became the fiance of the greatest guy that has ever trotted into my life.

Toby's day with Aunt Cait

2008-07-10T17:02:00.003-06:00

So today I was even lazier than usual. After two days of night shifts, I needed a break. Toby and I walked up to Tim's work and ate lunch, then we played in sprinklers and chased the ducks (actually Toby was scared of the ducks). Then we took a nap on the love sac and watched Atonement.

Lovely days

2008-07-10T16:49:00.006-06:00

Summer days are wonderful. Besides the fact I don't get to see my fiance (um, how weird doe that sound?!) near enough since he works days and I work nights, I'm just basking in the heat and the laziness. And by laziness, I mean I'm still working full-time and coding and planning a wedding (which sucks. I really want to elope but Tim has vetoed that proposition more than once).

But sometimes we do hang out. And then it's great! Last Sunday, Tim and I hopped on over to Cecilia's just in time for dessert and curtain-making (by Kyle) and just had the loveliest time.

Isn't he hot in that suit? Mmmm....

We LOVE hanging out with Becca and Kyle. Too bad they won't hang out with us after we're married because they don't like married people... oh well, we still have three months to change their minds! Because they are the coolest married couple ever... and can I just throw out there that Becca's new calling in her ward is "Baby-sitting Coordinator"??

OH, and I got my ring! An antique. I stole the idea from Elisse :) However, it didn't take me four months to commit to it. I'm a little more impulsive that she is. I'm probably also a little too obsessed with it considering I didn't even think I wanted a diamond. But oh man, it is BEAUTIFUL.

Tim wrote this verse for me...

2008-07-07T11:17:00.002-06:00

For those of you who have heard the song Kate by Ben Folds, you know how much it describes me. I love that song. On our second-ish hang-out, Tim learned to play it on his guitar and played it for me. He also added a few verses. One goes like this (seriously, I was cracking up when he sang this to me):

She's for healthcare reform
She's from South Carolina
She's got a cute butt
and she's proud of her vagina
Oh, I have you got nothing to say

She never eats meat
She stays away from dairy

Blah blah something I can't remember... I wanna be Kate.

Hiking in the Tetons

2008-07-05T09:50:00.002-06:00

So, I never posted about our Idaho trip.

Two weekends ago, Tim, his sister Charity, and I drove up to Driggs, Idaho for their grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary. I got to meet the family, and we went on this gorgeous hike in the Tetons. Here's the long-awaited photo documentation of that trip. We had so much fun, and Tim's family was so nice to me.

Stolen pictures

2008-07-02T11:10:00.004-06:00

Ok, I stole these from Kayla's post about Utah. But they are so darn cute I couldn't resist!

Me and Wes

Thelms, Kayla, Me, and Baby Wes at Carl & Gloria's reception

First date jitters

2008-07-02T10:49:00.002-06:00

Ok guys. I went on a first date with this guy last night, and while it started rocky, it ended up going REALLY WELL.

I was a little nervous at first, because he asked me to pick him up from the TEMPLE. Is that some kind of suggestion? I don't know, it was a little creepy though.

Then we went to eat. He's totally cheap. I suggested Olive Garden but he was like nah, I don't like sit-down restaurants, too fancy. So we got pizza. Sheesh.

Not only that, I paid. LAME.

And he kissed me. Right there in the pizza place! How rude! What kind of girl does he think I am?

We then went to see a movie. In the parking lot, he was drinking his drink and I accidentally rolled the window up on his arm and it splattered all over his tie. Oops.

Then at the theater we couldn't decide which flick to see so he ordered tickets for different shows. I objected, and we ended up going with Baby Mama, HUGE disappointment. Um, did anyone else that saw that notice the mic that kept popping into scenes??? I hope that gripper was fired.

I took him home. The end.

Oh wait, actually the beginning... we're getting married! :)

Two little Yemeni girls

2008-06-28T19:35:00.002-06:00

Thelms sent me this article via g-chat today and I think it is absolutely inspiriring. It tells the story of these little girls, forced into marriages with much older men, a depressing tale. However, read deeper. Imagine these little girls' lives. Close your eyes and picture little Nujood walking out of her house alone for the first time in her life, hailing a taxi, and walking into a courthouse. A little girl suffocated in a male-dominated world. Consider her bravery and her strength. Maybe they have so much courage because they are so young, not yet indoctrinated into the culture, not yet able to sense real fear and danger. This small tale is truly inspiring. What am I afraid to do that I've always wanted to do? Who I am to be hesitant to jump right in? And what can I do to make this world into something more beautiful and kind and peaceful? Two little Yemeni girls taught me a little about life today.

Blog-readers!

2008-06-25T23:09:00.003-06:00

Oh wait blog-readers...

before you can officially meet Tim, I'd love to know who you are!

Pelzer, SC?
Mountain View, CA?
Tillamook, Oregon?

I'd just like to know so I can better serve your blog-reading needs. I'm just as guilty as stalking as anyone though, so understandable if you want to keep your identity under wraps... I do LOVE my blog-readers though, don't get me wrong.

*Comments also welcome.

Introducing... Tim!

2008-06-25T16:18:00.004-06:00

Ok blog-readers. I think it's time I made some introductions.

Blog-readers, meet Tim.

A little background.

One day, it was my first Sunday in my new ward that I had just moved in to. I was walking home with my roommate and a random tall awkward boy. He finds out my name and says something to the effect of "Do you hate having two first names? Kate and Lynn? I will call you Kate (Cait)" And I thought nothing of it except maybe, that is little strange, who is this guy?

Flash forward 2? weeks: Again at church. The boy is teaching Sunday School. I comment. I am mildly attracted to him. He's funny. He tells a great story about going to buy a milkshake and there are two sizes: Medium and Regular. The girl behind the counter doesn't understand why Tim thinks it's weird they are both sizes since they are the same. Regular is clearly larger than Medium. Duh. After Sunday School, I would like to sit by this boy in Sacrament Meeting. I think about it. I contemplate it. I sit across the room, naturally. After church, I'm reading outside the building, waiting for Austin to get out of her meetings so I can go over to fetch my belongings from her condo. Boy walks out of church. Boy sits down. We make small talk. We talk about high heels and how morally opposed I am to them (I already DI-ed the ones I wore to the wedding, I promise!) There is mutual attraction, at least in my opinion. We part ways.

Flash forward to the next day: FHE at his apartment. We play a rather sexist game of Battle of the Sexes. I'm not impressed with the game, but I am impressed with his book collection. I tell him so and ask to borrow one. FHE is over. I leave and go home. I'm sitting in my basement when I hear a knock on my door. I run upstairs but am too late, but I do see him walking away. I do not say anything because I'm still not so sure that it is the right time to start anything. I'm going on a mission after all.

The next day?: I think it was the next day. I go over on the way to a friend's house to pick up that book. He wants to hang out on Saturday. I have to work. We plan on Sunday, after Break the Fast (are any non-singles ward people understanding our various strange traditions?) I'm not wearing shoes. He likes it, come to find out.

Sunday: We try to sit together in Sunday School but my roommate is between us. I really want him to be next to me. It's weird. After church, Halle Mehalic calls me and wants to hang out. I take her to BTF and then we run away early because it's awkward and I can't talk to him in front of everyone. After Halle is leaving I try to find him; strangely enough he is sitting on my couch, thinking I'm getting ready to hang out with him. I walk through the front door and it's confusing for both of us. We chat. Halle leaves. He has set up miniature golf in his apartment using a random assortment of DI decor. I think it's cute. I like him.

Monday: After FHE, we walk to the library and rent old movies. We watch 3:10 to Yuma. He asks to hold my hand and I concede.

Tues, Wed, Thurs...: I avoid him. I'm freaked out. I sleep at Celia's. I do not want to do it. He comes by and leaves me prunes. My roommates think I have GI problems.

The next few weeks are a blur: I stop being stubborn and admit I do want to hang out with him more. One thing leads to another. I invite him camping the night Dev and Hill get engaged. We kiss. and kiss. and kiss. We really like to kiss. We talk. We really like to talk. We like to hold hands and walk around at night. We also like laying on his couch watching movies. He's one of the most thoughtful people I've ever talked with. He's incredibly well-read. He watches good movies. Best of all, he likes me back. He's strong enough to handle my strength. He thinks I smoke pot and likes that I wear the same thing everyday. He's not intimidated by me. When we're together, it feels wonderful and natural and like I could do it the rest of my life and be perfectly content.

I think you will find that you are fast friends, blog-readers and Tim. You're some of my most favorite people and he is quickly rising in the ranks ;)

Ani DiFranco and musings about life

2008-06-22T10:02:00.004-06:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I just wrote a whole long post about the concert, then accidentally deleted it by 'navigating away from the page'. SO. Here's a carbon copy, hopefully.

Last night, my awesome friend Elisse and I went to our first ever Ani DiFranco concert!!! Thusfar, it was hands-down the best night of the summer for me. The night was perfect, the sunset was beautiful, and we spread out Elisse's gorgeous green quilt and sat on the grass, soaking up the lesbians and pot and liberating vibes. And the music was DIVINE. I don't know how to describe how cool Ani's voice is, how penetrating her lyrics are, or how she just talked to us like we were the best of friends. She rocks SO hardcore on her guitar, she had to super glue her pick to her fingers so it wouldn't slip! She sang a lot of her classic songs, like 32 Flavors and Both Hands and Not a Pretty Girl but she also threw some nice ones in about the ludicrous war and nuclear bombs and fallen patriarchy and the religious right. I've never felt such solidarity with a group of people. I felt like these people, though SO outwardly different than me in appearance and lifestyle really understood my inner spirit.

And... Elisse is SO COOL! I only wish that we had become friends years ago instead of meeting a few months ago. If only she wasn't running off and getting married, moving to NYC, and teaching those special education children in the poorest schools in the country. GEEZ. Nonetheless, it was a fabulous last hurrah bachelorette party before she ties the knot and says goodbye to this stage of her life. What a better way to do that than to express your inner righteous babe among a crowd of people that feel the same way. I love women. I love feeling so feminine and empowered. It is a really hot feeling. There is nothing like being indepedent and liberated and educated and ready to tackle the world. There is something so powerful about this generation of girls... or maybe it is just the age we are at right now, but I think of as the crusaders. At least I'm on a crusade to get rid of the repressive gender roles our society inflicts upon us. So I'm not going to wear make-up every day and do my hair and wear high heels and be a stay-at-home mom and take my husband's last name. WHATEVERRRRRRRRR. That does not make me a bad female! Our society is so concerned with the petty socially-constructed gender roles that we forget about the big picture. There are individual circumstances and personalities and quirks that are so difficult to express in so-called 'normal' ways because we are so strictly defined in our roles.

Being at that concert made me think a lot about my role in the world. Obviously, I'm not a hardcore, pot-smoking, lesbian. And I'm not like some of my friends who are suburban Mormon housewives (and I don't see anything at all wrong with either lifestyle. It's personal agency, as long as you are not pushed into the roles by society and it's a choice, I'm fully supportive of whatever lifestyle you choose to live, within reason of course). But I think I'm prepared to create a happy medium for myself. Yes, I want to get married. I have strong maternal instincts and am super anxious to be a mother. But I also want to still be able to be a feminist and tkae my little girls to Ani concerts and teach them there is NOTHING they can not do with their lives and they can be whoever they want. I want to try SO hard to not push roles on them and create their lives for them. Sometimes I look back on my life and realize just how much of it was planned out for me, my mother forcing me into roles in which I did not want to play the part. I wanted her approval along with everyone else's surrounding me, but it was not who I really was. And I was utterly miserable and went through a long period where I was depressed and anxious and just generally unhappy. I knew I was different from those little blonde rich girls that I was always made to be friends with when I was little, but to me different was wrong and bad. I wanted more than anything to be like them and fit in and not have wild and crazy curly red hair, not be so darn smart and bookish or loud and brutally honest. And no matter the birthday parties I was invited to or the fact our moms schemed to put us in the same classes (I still remember going to look at our class lists and my mom making sure that I was in a "white" class with other little preppy white girls. I probably didn't react to it then, but it makes me absolutely ill now), I never had any real friends until the end of high school and perhaps save a few individuals, I may not have had any real friends until college. I'm so grateful I truly found who I really am and I am SO happy with the woman I have become. I love that I surround myself with people who I don't have to pretend around. I can say what comes to my mind and my crazy thoughts and ideas and act like myself without worrying about people thinking I'm weird. Because we're all weird! So thanks college friends (especially Elisse for going to see Ani with me!). You've made me into the person I truly love. And I think last night just helped reaffirm that to me.

Ingrid sings about my secret dream life

2008-06-13T15:19:00.001-06:00

I will live my life as a lobster man's wife on an island in the blue bay.
He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea, and close to my heart he'll always stay.

I will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and Nelly and Faye.
while I'm combing their hair, I will catch his warm stare
on our island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away to a new life on a new shore line
where the water is blue and the people are new,
to another island, in another life.

Just sounds ideal.

2008-06-09T11:13:00.003-06:00

So I had a meeting with my bishop yesterday. He's an awesome guy. He's a political science professor, so we started off talking about nuclear weapons as deterrents and then we got on to how he protested nukes in the 1980s at the Nevada test site and got on CNN, and how he is total liberal hippie. We get along well. Yesterday in our meeting he pointed out some of my major character traits and how they could help or hurt my missionary work. Just thought it was interesting how much he knew about me after only knowing me for a few weeks, I also inserted some of my own interpretation but all in all, this is what he told me. I love revelation.

1. Impatience. I am incredibly impatient. I want everything and I want it all, RIGHT NOW. I don't like to wait. I'm a quick mover. This could either be good in that I will work very hard, always moving on the next appointment or activity. Or it could be bad in that I will want everyone to get baptized right away and I will have to learn how to allow people their own time tables. Also, I don't like waiting long periods of time for answers to prayers. I need to learn to surrender my will to Heavenly Father's and allow him to work through me.
2. Independence. I value my alone time. A lot. I don't like being told to do, I don't like spending large amounts of time with other people. I love being alone. I value my silence. This will be hard in many ways. First off, the whole 24/7 companion thing. I like to do my own thing, so I know it will be difficult adjusting to having someone there all the time, an equal partner in decision-making. On the other hand, he thinks it will be good marriage-training, since a huge barrier I have to relationships is my inability to commit to spending time with people on a regular schedule. Also I tire of people really easily, so maybe it will help with that too.
3. My inability to adhere to any kind of schedule. Inspirational spontaneity and flexibility are very key traits that a lot of missionaries fail to develop since they are so rigid in their scheduling. I, on the other hand, am the queen of spontaneity. I do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it. Schedules and me are not very good friends. I try to stick to the important things (school, church, etc) but beyond that my days are not planned. On a mission, I'll need to plan my days, but luckily there is some room for interpretation.
4. My intense love of people. Though I enjoy alone time, I LOVE people. I have a keen sense of understanding and empathy. This is mostly a quality that I would continue to develop, but it also will be hard because it will lead to more intense disappointment.

That's all I can recall at the moment. By the way, did I mention my papers are in again? Third time is a charm, I suppose. Any friendly wagers on where the good Lord is sending me?

Camping

2008-06-07T16:32:00.003-06:00

Please do excuse my severe lack of blogging. I have had blogger's block, with not much going on interesing enough to share with the world wide web. Not to mention I have been incredibly busy with working, schooling, volunteering, and socializing (And I did not mistype... SOCIALIZING. For those of you who do not know me as well, this is kind of a big deal.) I started my new job at the Women's Shelter in Provo and I LOVE it thusfar. It's a huge challenge, but I thrive on that. It's demanding and chaotic, but so much more rewarding than sitting in a call center for a security system company (yes, I admit it. I used to work for one. please, shame me.) Of course, the pay is about half of what I was making there, but I wouldn't trade the extra money for anything. I love interacting with the women, getting to know them and their children better, and just generally being in control of my own work. Not to mention I really like everyone else that works here. I fit in. It's a change :)

So... on to the real subject of this post. Last night's camping expedition in which (drum roll please...) my brother got engaged!!! That's right, Devin popped the question to our dear Hillary Tresnak, and they are getting married in August. We are all thrilled. It was pretty funny how it all happened though. I went with her to pick out the ring last week so that he could buy it. However, he ended up deciding not to buy the one she picked out because he wanted to be certain she had one she really loved, so instead I gave him my fake diamond Wal-Mart ring that I got in high school when Rob and I were fake engaged for an evening. It's actually a pretty sweet ring. While we were up at Squaw Peak, Dev slipped the ring into Hillary's jacket pocket and she didn't notice a thing! Then, when all of us were sitting around the campfire, Devin sang her a song he had written her (it was rather cheesy) and then attempted to retrieve the ring to propose. Funny enough, he couldn't get it out of the pocket. It was rather anti-climatic, here he was proposing with no ring. Finally, after a few moments of digging through the pocket (conveniently and awkwardly located by her boobs) he found it buried deep, took it out, said some words and proposed. They kissed a lot. It was pretty dang romantic. Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures, we tried but it was too dark for cell phone cameras.

The end.

Ani Difranco

2008-05-28T14:11:00.002-06:00

I'm loving Ani this week. I cannot wait until her concert in June!

Her lyrics are raw and poignant. One of my favorites is "Both Hands". I'm not even entirely sure I understand the meaning behind the lyrics, but it still speaks to me about life, trying so hard in relationships, realizing that most of it is all for naught. I think she's just trying to tell her lover to please dedicate yourself to me and don't hold any emotions back. You really just need to listen to it, her voice is entrancing.

Both Hands
in each other's shadows we grew less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all
and i'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall
and when we leave the landlord will come
and paint over it all
and i am walking
out in the rain
and i am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
and i am getting nowhere with you
and i can't let it go
and i can't get through
so now use both hands
please use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
i am writing graffiti on your body
i am drawing the story of how hard we tried

Obesity in America: A rant.

2008-05-23T16:16:00.003-06:00

I wrote this little rant for my sociology class, but feel it necessary to share on my blog:

Walking down the street in any U.S. city, it’s difficult not to notice the robust size of many people. But why are so many Americans fat? In order to answer this quandary, it’s essential to examine the culture we live in today. There are many reasons why Americans are fat. To put it simply, they overeat and do not spend nearly enough time exercising. There are more complex reasons also to understanding this phenomenon. First, eating is not seen as an event. Rather, it’s something to be quickly done, and food is picked based on convenience rather than nutrition and quality. Processed, pre-packaged food is eaten all too frequently; it is packed full of empty calories, fat, and sodium. Moreover, the prevalence of fast food dining also contributes to American obesity, especially for those who are low-income. Portions at restaurants can personally feed me for days; however, many consider that only one meal. Most Americans vastly misunderstand portion-size, and must eat massive amounts in one sitting to accommodate their misconception. The more they eat, the more they need to eat to be satisfied.

Another reason contributing to American obesity is the misunderstanding of nutritious eating. All too often, bars, cereals, and instant drinks are replacing fruits, vegetables, and whole grains as sources of nutrition. While these tout vitamins and minerals, they misrepresent healthy eating. We’ve also lost much of the variety in our produce by using agricultural methods that focus on quick profit rather than sustainable planting; the monoculture employed by most corporate farms has destroyed so many varieties of nutrient-dense fruits and vegetables. The lack of variety in fresh produce leads Americans to other aisles to find it; there are about 100 varieties of potato chips and 50 varieties of cookies in any given grocery store. Moreover, Americans have become disconnected from what they eat due to extensive transport and packaging. Thus, they have taken to putting unhealthy and processed foods into their bodies, and their bodies have revolted.

Moreover, Americans do not understand the importance of regular exercise, and if they do, they simply cannot find the time in their insanely over-committed schedules. Most of our cities and suburbs are not pedestrian-friendly. Few Americans bike to work or school. Our society prizes cars above all other forms of transportation, with drastic impacts on our health as well as environment. The U.S. is quickly becoming a concrete jungle even in many rural areas; the lack of connectedness to nature leads Americans away from experiencing life with their bodies to experiencing it vicariously through computers, televisions, and video games. Most everyone agrees that regular exercise, even if it’s nothing more than walking 30 minutes a day, leads to weight loss and improved health. But too few Americans listen to common sense, and their health and well-being will suffer.

...
I'm not saying being skinny is necessary for happiness; more important by far is health. We have, though, lost a lot of good stuff we had going for us a hundred or so years ago. Our society needs to remember the good old days of family walks instead of primetime TV shows. Victory gardens. Hiking. Biking. The simple but free things in life that contribute to well-being. I know as I take time to think about the unhealthy practices in my life, and seek to improve them, I feel a gazillion times better about my body and spirit.

Officer breastfeeds orphans

2008-05-22T19:09:00.002-06:00

I absolutely love breastfeeding. Here's a mom who knows what's up. I teared up a little reading this.

Becca's wedding and San Francisco

2008-05-19T22:59:00.004-06:00

What a fabulous little weekend I had!! On Thursday, Cecilia and I embarked on our journey to California for the first time in our lives. After a short flight, we arrived at the Oakland airport, greeted by Becca, Kyle, and Katy P (not Katy A, do not be confused). That night, we stayed up and talked for a little bit on the front porch, then went over to the Nieman's house where we spent the night the first few nights. Friday was spent preparing for the nuptials, watching Prince Caspian (I wouldn't recommend it.... a little cheesy) and going to a wedding-eve barbecue at Becca & Katy's grandparent's house. The company was pleasurable, the food was amazing. Au gratin potatoes like I've never tasted! And homemade strawberry ice cream! Yum! That night, we had a little post-wedding-eve-barbecue bash at the neighborhood pool, then went home and I absolutely crashed. Saturday was spent preparing for the wedding, then going to the temple to see our two wonderful friends start their eternal happiness together. Becca, as mentioned previously, looked like an absolute dream. And Kyle didn't look so bad either. I know they will make each other SO happy, and you can just tell they absolutely worship each other without being all gross and PDA-ish. When they walked out of the temple, and everyone was standing there, in typical Becca fashioned, she got all awkward and was like "what now!?" It was adorable. It was so HOT at the temple, but pictures had to be taken!! I loved so much that Becca & Kyle were so concerned about their friends being in pictures with them. It was fun, and we got some great ones I know. After the wedding, the group of Provo friends went to lunch at perhaps the best ice cream place ever!!! Fenton's. I highly recommend it! Better than Ghirardelli, which we had the next day in San Francisco. Saturday night was the reception, which was also, absolutely perfect for Becca & Kyle. Low-key but classy. Sister Anderson did a fabulous job on the food!! The pasta salad was incredible, and fresh strawberries with cream were among my favorites. The cake was beautiful, and delicious too! I loved her reception, it makes me ready to have my own. Then I think, oh no wait, I'm SO not ready to get married yet! But when I do, we will dance barefoot in a poppy field accompanied by bongo players. The wedding food will be vegan and raw. and the flowers will be wild dandelions :) My ring will be antique gold. My dress will be vintage. And my groom will be wonderful, tall, dark, foreign, and liberal. That's the ideal, though Becca's reception swayed me into thinking traditional is not so bad. I LOVED her reception. And I'm not easily swayed into doing what everyone else does. But her dress was beautiful, the veil was beautiful, the expensive flowers and fancy wedding cake were great. And her bridals-- FABULOUS! I didn't think I liked the idea of standing around in a constricting dress getting pictures shot of me, but hers are so stunning I just can't imagine not doing it! Ok. Enough gushing for now :)

So, on Saturday evening, 5 of us went into the city and played around. We went to In-N-Out and generally just had a great time. We found this strange museum with old games, it was quite interesting. I also danced on a street corner to some reggae music. One of my friends put a cup beside me. Nevertheless, I didn't make any money... I wouldn't survive as a bum.

On Sunday after church, Katy P, Cil, and me went to San Francisco again. We did A LOT of walking, but saw pretty much the entire city. I didn't realize how hilly it was! Like, I knew there were hills, but DANG! It was so fun though, we saw the major sites (except for the bridge, it was to foggy!) and enjoyed each other's company. We got an ice cream sundae at Ghiradelli square, frolicked in the Pacific, walked down Lombard St., and hung around Chinatown. We came across a gathering with hundreds of people in Chinatown, and Cecilia nudged me and said "It's your paradise!!" I could agree more.

Today, Cecilia and I spent most of our afternoon in Berkeley. Heaven. They have 11 vegan restaurants, one of which I visited that was delicious! I brought some food home for lunch later :) That's how good it was. We also walked around the campus, and through the law school. I LOVE the campus. It's so green, there are huge trees and cool trails. We were sitting eating gelato when two students walked by and we overheard "so, remember at that protest freshman year..." I want to go there for law school SO BAD. My mom, of course, reminded me of the little price tag attached... only because I'm a girl of course. If Devin could get into an expensive and highly-regarded medical school, he'd be more than encouraged. I hate gender double-standards. Grrr.

Now I'm happy to be back in Provo. But not ready for my midterm I have in the morning! Darn spring term.

Wedding and reception pictures:

San Fran pictures:

In case you haven't gotten enough...:

Becca's wedding!!

2008-05-18T22:20:00.004-06:00

So, yesterday my lovely friend and roommate Becca got married in the Oakland Temple! It was a beautiful day. More pictures and details to come! She was the absolute most stunning bride ever.

Reduce, reuse, recycle. In that order.

2008-05-14T11:45:00.003-06:00

I've been on an environmental-rush for the past few months, and would like to share with everyone my attempts at reducing my carbon footprint.

1. The menstrual cup. Sounds gross, but it's the greatest thing I have ever discovered. I absolutely LOVE it, and have recommended it to friends again and again. It's cheap (you can use it for 10 years, it comes out to like 10 cents a month), it's environmentally-friendly (U.S. women produce about 2 million tons of trash from sanitary napkins and tampons every year!), and it's healthier (no bleach or toxins that can leach into your system from tampons, no risk of TSS). I use the DivaCup but there are many options. You can google "menstrual cup" and find tons of great reviews as well!

2. No paper towels for this girl! For Lent, I gave up paper towels. Now, when I go to the restroom, I wash my hands, and then just shake them dry or wipe them on my pants. Think about what a difference that would make if we all did it! It is such a simple thing, but I just about how many times I wash my hands a day, and how many paper towels I would use and trash, and this way is just as easy. Also, my hands are way less chapped!

3. Composting. I bury my old apple cores, orange peels, and vegetable skins in my backyard. I'm not sure this really helps the environment, but I feel like I'm returning to the earth what was meant to be there. And I feel good about that.

4. Community garden! Fresh, local vegetables for all!

5. Riding my bike and walking. Everywhere.

6. Turning off the lights. I'm a nazi about this. Honestly, I just can't leave a room now without flipping the switch. Get into the habit!

7. Limiting showers. Ok, some people think this is just gross, but who needs to shower every day unless they are exercising vigorously or genuinely have odor problems (which I doubt any of us do).

8. Used clothes, used books, used everything. I love used things. Plato's Closet if you're upscale, DI if you're me. Also, I love recycling my own clothing everything I haven't worn in the past year. Someone will put it to great use! Also, reusable bags when you grocery shop. You can buy them usually for about a dollar a bag, and most grocery stores I've been to will discount your bill if you bring your own bags and ask. Technically, every time we shop we are paying for plastic bags! Also, I love reusing containers for leftovers. I've never bought tupper-ware because there are so many great containers out there. My favorites are large yogurt containers, Nancy's organic yogurt I used to eat, and the containers are the perfect size and toughness. I also reuse jars from spaghetti sauce and other things as cups for drinking tea or storing leftover soups. If you don't reuse them, at least recycle!

9. Vegetarianism/veganism. It's probably the single-most significant thing I do for the environment every day. Does anyone realize how much the cattle industry has destroyed the agricultural communities, polluted our waters, and killed our people? Can we say heart disease?? There are so many great alternatives! Try a little tempeh, tofu, veg burgers! Or how about some good old fashioned vegetables? Great recipes here.

10. I can't think of a 10th thing that I do personally. But I LOVE windmills.

Now, everyone go out and take accountability for their actions! REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE!!!

Nuit de Russe

2008-05-12T12:46:00.002-06:00

Last night, I had the privilege of attending Russian night at a friend of Nathalie's home near the Provo Library. It was magical! We ate borscht, cabbage salad, and grilled salmon, drank grape juice, and read Pushkin love poems by candlelight with incense burning. Utterly magical. Ironically enough, 75% of the people there were speaking French (note the title in French. I don't know how to say Russian Night in Russian unfortunately). I love listening to French speakers, and am delighted when I understand small bits and phrases. I met some rad new friends.

I love being a naked hippie

2008-05-06T12:35:00.002-06:00

On Friday night, we spontaneously decided to embark on a journey to the Hot Springs. Besides getting lost and driving 40 miles out of the way (seems to be a theme with me and hot springs...), we make it to the trail. One gorgeous hike through the canyon later, we arrive at our sanctuary. If you've never experienced a Utah hot springs, you are truly missing out on one of the most raw and sensual moments in this life. Nothing can surpass the feeling when there is no vehicle/home/anything for miles, and you are lying naked in hot, sulphur-y water under an immense night sky with billions of stars and the visible Milky Way, next to a rushing mountain stream. As we walked back down the trail at dawn with the sun lighting up the dark night all around us, the contentedness and peace was palpable.

Then I had to come back to Provo. Gross.

Side note: My best friend Austin was also at the hot springs that morning. Her group had camped out the night before. When she asked why they didn't go to the hot springs at night, they replied, "we don't want to be there with all the naked hippies". That is my new favorite label.

Honest to blog?

2008-05-06T12:32:00.002-06:00

On Sunday, I went to my second "Break the Fast" at Cecilia and Jessica's ward. While they were doing their "Meet the Bishop" interviews, I thought I'd wander around for a bit. I came across this little gem:

"Single's Dance. Dress must be modest, no extreme hairstyles, only one piercing for girls. No bear-hugging or same-sex dancing. ALL DIVORCES MUST BE FINAL."

HONEST TO BLOG.

Tells you something about Mormon culture, eh?
We are so bizarre.

Current temperature=24 degrees

2008-05-01T08:31:00.003-06:00

BYU promised that if I sacrificed my summer to go to school, I could do this:

Instead, I look like this:

Revolutionary-guerillia-anarchist poetry reading and subsequent run-in with the police

2008-04-30T10:02:00.003-06:00

My apologies for my severe lack of blogging this past week... like anyone actually reads this anyway (comments, anyone?!) But something happened truly blog-worthy on Sunday night, so I was pretty stoked.

Sunday night was the secret revolutionary-anarchy poetry reading, orchestrated by our dear John K. We were told to gather in an undisclosed location for a night of true revolution, to commemorate the destruction of a much-beloved BYU building. We planned to read our poems, then write them all over the walls of the doomed building. Told to travel in groups of one or two, I set off alone, soon joining up with two of my friends at the location. Although the door was supposedly open, we still thought it would be hardcore to climb through a broken window. We traversed the building, wandering up stairs, down stairs, through dark corridors and duct-taped rooms. For a while we were lost, but we finally made it to our meeting place in the old Mathematics portion of the building, past the old campus mailboxes. A group was gathered, and the spirit of the revolution was most definitely present. We were eager to perform our ritual, a little glimpse of rebellion in our otherwise mundane existence. However, we had not been in the room longer than 5 minutes when the BYU "police" ran in, throwing JK up against a wall and shouting at us that we were trespassing and breaking a law. We were told this was a misdemeanor, punishable by 6 months imprisonment or a $1000 fine. A hush fell over all, and the worry set in. I was sure we'd be arrested, carted off to the underground BYU jail where they torture the liberals and other non-conformists into submission. The civil disobedience in all of us faltered, as thoughts of Harvard Law School or Stanford business school flashed through our minds. We followed the officer's instructions to a tee, being incredibly polite and unfailingly honest. They took all of our names, IDs, and called in for background checks, while the posse of poser-revolutionaries sat in circles, disappointed in our severe lack of ability to break free of the system that maintains a tight grip on our futures. In the end, we were issued a warning, meaning that if we ever attempt to break into an abandoned building in Utah County ever again in our whole lives, then we'd be arrested and most likely given community service. JK suggested next time we go to Salt Lake.

The best moment of the evening: the policewoman reciting a Shel Silverstein poem she memorized with her son, and the policeman reciting his poem about an albatross he submitted in 10th grade to a competition. We got our poetry, but not quite the revolution we were seeking.

I'm digging....

2008-04-21T11:04:00.001-06:00

1. Spain's defense minister, 7 months pregnant.

2. Chocolate-covered cinnamon bears. YUM.
3. My political science 472 oral final. So much work, yet so rewarding.
4. Sobe. I've downed three just this week. Carrot-Mango is the choice variety.
5. The Kennedy Center basement
6. Laying in the sunshine

the shower of death.

2008-04-21T10:59:00.003-06:00

Last night, I went to take a shower at around 1 in the morning. I turn on the cold water, turn on the hot water, go to press the button to turn on the shower, and AHHH. BLACK WATER. Not just dirty grey. BLACK. SOLID. SOOTY. All over the tub, splashing on my legs. I screamed (not because it was gross, but I honestly felt like I was in some horror movie and was being attacked). Becca walks in, and we start dying laughing because the tub has speckles of black, disgusting water. Needless to say, I showered downstairs.

SID retreat

2008-04-18T10:04:00.003-06:00

The SID retreat was absolutely divine and refreshing. Well, refreshing is a hard word to use when you've only gotten one hour of sleep. Intellectually refreshing. I drove up after our cook-out/party at Dr. Hudson's house for her WomanStatsers... what a COOL family. We had burgers and hot dogs (mine were veg-style), salads, chips and delicious desserts. My new friend Austin came and got me, and then we headed up to Big Cottonwood Canyon for the retreat. It was an incredibly long drive, but I didn't really know Austin all that well before so it was nice to chat for a while. When we got up the canyon, there was about 978 feet of snow, would've been perfect for snow-shoeing. But alas, we did not do such a thing. Instead, we played games and chatted by the fire, ultimately concluding the festivities with a honor-code-breaking cuddle-fest that wasn't too conducive to a good night's rest. Of course, the next morning, when Austin and I arrived at the villa, we crashed on his couches for about 2 hours before heading to campus for a study-a-thon to prepare for finals. And now, I'm blogging to procrastinate writing my paper on the role of political Islam in the Arab-Israeli conflict.

Here's us frolicking about before we head back to Provo:

Letter to the Editor, take 2

2008-04-15T16:50:00.002-06:00

Written in response to Daily Universe Article (page 8, "Hospital Births a Safe Option)

Hospital births are not necessarily the safest option for a majority of mothers. In cases of non-complicated pregnancies, a non-intervention birth at home may be a safer alternative. Medical procedures that have come to be the norm in our society can actually put both the mother and baby at risk. First of all, more than 2/3 of laboring mothers in the United States opt for a pain-relieving epidural. In many cases, obstetricians will not even allow the mother a choice. However, epidurals affect birthing hormones, slowing down labor in many cases. As a result of the slowed labor, the doctors will administer pitocin, a synthetic form of the hormone oxytocin, increasing the intensity and frequency of uterine contractions. And quite reminiscent of our rushed culture, if the mother still does not progress in her labor, she will be convinced that the best thing for her and the baby would be a c-section. However, the reality is the c-section is the best thing for that obstetrician; c-sections are the most lucrative, efficient, and litigiously safe way to bring children into the world by the standard of the doctor. No wonder the American College of OB/GYNS denounces home births... perhaps there are some vested interests there? It is not taken into account that a c-section also increases the risk of infection and hemorrhage (and death), prolongs recovery, and inhibits breastfeeding initiation. But aren't we missing out on the beauty and spirituality of childbirth? We thank the doctor for "delivering the baby," but shouldn't we be praising the mother for her blood sacrifice? Our conception of childbirth must be rethought before we turn it into some weird medical, scientific phenomenon, and forget about what a supernal gift it is given to women by their God.

Story of Stuff

2008-04-10T09:41:00.003-06:00

This little video makes me so frustrated at the state of our world, and the rampant consumerism of this country. Sick.

Tumbling gym

2008-04-06T19:57:00.007-06:00

One last thing: last night, Devin, his girlfriend Hillary, and some others (oh and me) went to the Tumbling gym. So fun, but maybe not worth the money. I think it's because I am a big wuss when it comes to jumping really high, so I bet it was more fun for everyone else. But anyways, here's some highlights/videos. I really think Devin missed his calling as a gymnast... he is terribly good at it. It makes me look even more awkward, but at least Hillary was too. So, the end.

My cup floweth over... (MNCH conference, SOARS, GC of the LDS church)

2008-04-06T19:10:00.006-06:00

Alright. So many acronyms, not enough typing strength. There is so much to blog about! I do not even know where to begin, but I will start at the logical beginning, Friday.

On Friday, it was the first ever Mother, Newborn, and Child Health Conference at BYU. It was a trial conference, and I personally think the department of Health did a terrific job putting it on. The speakers were incredible- the first two keynotes were from PAHO, and the final was a doctor in NYC. She was probably my favorite (and ironically enough, I ran into her at Temple Square the next day. She was attending General Conference with my professor, Len Novilla)... she spoke of women's issues specifically and how unless women are secure in their environment and on par with men they will never achieve good indicators of health. She showed a clip from the documentary "Dead Mums Don't Cry", about a maternity ward in Chad. It was wrenching to watch.... BBC does not mess around with its documentaries. After she delivered her presentation, it was time for an hour-long panel, then lunch. The food was less than desirable, but I sat and chatted with my fellow WomanStatser/women's health guru Charla, and my newly-acquired friend/future doctor extraordinaire Scott. Interesting conversation ensued.

The breakout speakers were good too, I went to one on cultural contexts on women's health and learned about some very strange practices. I had to head out early for WomanStats, but it was alright because I was getting pretty antsy at the conference.

Friday night was incredible-- I went to a performance up in SLC. It's called SOARS: Story of a Rape Survivor. It is a show conducted by the non-profit organization A Long Walk Home. It documents one young woman's path to healing from two incidences of rape in college through the eyes of her younger sister, who photographed the process. Through modern dance, monologue, and the visuals, her story as well as those of others really came alive. The performance was absolutely beautiful, but my favorite part of the evening was when the performers as well as the woman and her sister who created the show, held a question and answer discussion for over an hour. It was so enlightening.... and it really inspired me and called me to action. The more I learn about the horrors of sexual abuse, the more I want to rid the world of it. I start training as a rape crisis counselor and domestic violence shelter volunteer in a few weeks, and I am so anxious and eager to participate in the movement in helping women overcome these barriers to survival inflicted by men. Also, I organized an event for Thursday in which the Outreach Coordinator from the Center for Women and Children in Crisis is going to come and speak to Parity (and anyone else who wants to attend, 6 p.m. in 238 HRCB on the 10th). It is so necessary to raise awareness while wreaking a little havoc to invoke change here at BYU in regards to the attitude and/or knowledge about sexual assault and gender-based violence. And I'm quite happy to be in the role of subversive anti-violence feminist. I can't help but be incredibly passionate about these issues, because often they hit far too close to home for my own comfort. We cannot continue to ignore or devalue these women and their situations.

Which brings me to General Conference. Why, might you ask, does this topic being me to conference? Well, can I just say that Elder Richard G. Scott's talk on victims of sexual assault was by far my favorite. He said some powerful phrases that really struck a chord with me. He emphasized being healed through Christ, by accepting Him into our lives to facilitate the healing process. It's only through Him, with the help of professional counseling and therapy, that a person can truly be completely healed from such an experience. It was interesting to see the contrast from the SOARS performance, in which a woman used art and writing to heal herself. I wonder to myself how she could stand to benefit from the knowledge that Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, has experienced the pain she felt? He, as our elder brother, felt the pain of every sexual assault and every ounce of abuse. What a powerful message that we have as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! Also striking to me was the statement by Elder Scott that although a victim will continue to experience negative outcomes of the abuse, it does NOT define who they are, nor should they let it. If they do, that is simply Satan trying to belittle them as a son or daughter of a loving and caring Heavenly Father.

Of course, the other talks were incredible as well. I feel so blessed to be privy to the knowledge that those men (and woman) speaking to us are doing so through revelation from an involved God who cares for each and every one of us and knows exactly what we need to hear. I can't wait to get the Ensign next month to relive the past two days over and over!

As for the logistics: Saturday morning, I went over to Austin's and we ate yummy breakfast and watched the session in her living room. I thought it was so neat how we all stood up to sustain the new Prophet of the Church as groups according to our position within the Church. Although I know we all sorely miss President Hinckley, I know that President Monson is a prophet, seer, and revelator, and has been ordained by God to this position. He has big shoes to fill, but his humor and his testimony yesterday and today reassure me that he will do a marvelous job and is prepared to lead our Church. Saturday afternoon, I had the exciting privilege to attend the session in the Conference Center. It was fantastic, I can't believe how BIG it is! It was my first time, sad thinking that I have lived in Utah for three years now... but it was definitely worth the wait. After the session, I thought it might be a good idea to take the UTA bus home so I could make it to Becca's bridal shower since Austin was staying in SLC for a concert. Well.... something like 2 and a half hours later I arrived back in Provo, about an hour too late for the shower. I was so sad I missed it, because I was looking forward to it for forever, and I know Katy and Nieman worked really hard to plan the dinosaur-themed event. Luckily, most everyone was still there so I got to chat with everyone before they left, and I went through the loot that Becca received as gifts. Sorry Becca that I was late :( I know you probably already know that... but still.

Again on Sunday, it was up to SLC for me. Thrice in three days! Devin and I had tickets for the Sunday AM session, so we left at 7:30 to ensure we got there in enough time to get a decent seat (which we did). Of course, it was marvelous once again. Afterwards, we ate the lunch I packed just sitting on Temple Square, and then watched the last session in the Tabernacle. Though the seats were apparently very uncomfortable, it was neat to witness first-hand the transition from the early Church when it was built to what we are today in that immense Conference Center: a truly international, growing organization committed to preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ while building up its members to become something divine. Sitting in that historical building reminded me of the pioneers, first arrived in the valley, following a leader into the great unknown. I can only fathom the immense faith they must have had, and know that nothing I do will ever come close to their struggles and triumphs. They paved the way for the Church to become what it is today. After the session, Devin and I drove over to our Aunt Linda and Uncle Rand's home and chatted with them for a little over an hour. It was getting late, and Devin has a paper due tomorrow, so then we headed home. And here I sit, contemplating the full days that have passed, and the even fuller ones to come.

More Holi pictures...

2008-04-06T18:57:00.003-06:00

There has been a demand for more pictures from Holi. Here they are....

Mission call!!!!!

2008-04-01T22:53:00.002-06:00

Today, I got my mission call. I'm going to...

....

....
.........

...................

...............................

................................................

Oh wait, nope, nope I didn't.

April Fool's

Holi.

2008-03-31T16:11:00.003-06:00

As you remember, I love Holi. I love the spiritual nature, and the significance of ridding ourselves of evil (the burning of Holika) and embracing new life in the form of springtime. The throwing of colors is a cleansing process of sorts, and it is symbolic also of protecting each other from sickness caused by cold weather. So, you can imagine my disappointment when it turned into a hardcore rock concert with all of the stupid punk Utah kids desecrating the beautiful and symbolic nature of the ritual. When the colors were thrown, people just threw them in the air in a frenzy, rather than tossing them at each other. The air was so thick with chalk I couldn't breathe, and it was probably one of the worst moments of my life. All of the symbolism was lost on a bunch of stupid white kids. After the chalk-throwing, my car went home because everyone was so upset, but I stayed for a little with Devin, Austin, and others. We ended up having fun dancing and frolicking away from the crowd, but I was so irritated by the fact that I had looked forward to Holi all semester and it turned into such an unholy event. Oh well. Here's a picture of Devin and me, ridiculously gross. Compare to last year, that is what you are supposed to look like.

Highlights

2008-03-28T16:24:00.006-06:00

On Easter Sunday, after church I arrived home to find a lovely Easter basket on my doorstep. I racked my brain, not entirely sure who would be so thoughtful, considering it contained fruit and tofu rather than Peeps. I called my mom and asked her if she had instructed Devin to make me an Easter basket, she said no, and doubted he would have been that thoughtful. Well, come to find out it was him. Thanks bro :)

Also, today was Project Youth. It's a really cool service project I found out about after Charity Ball last weekend where 1200 middle-schoolers come and hang out at BYU campus, watch cool presentations, and tour campus. The idea is to get them excited about going to college, since many of them come from backgrounds not very conducive to going to college. The presentations were fantastic, first we went to one by a chemistry professor who got the kids really excited about learning. He blew stuff up and compared it to gaining knowledge, and said it wasn't magic because they could learn why it happened... he was great. Then, we went to David's presentation where he got the kids really excited about international study and understanding other cultures. He showed his documentary on Namibia, which was absolutely incredible. I would love to go to Namibia, the movie made me so jealous! I love how BYU has so many unique opportunities for its students. I count my blessings every day that I am here and hope to continue to maximize the opportunities I have been given for learning.

The man has a point.

2008-03-27T20:56:00.001-06:00

Brigham Young:

Suppose that in this community there are ten beggars who beg from door to door for something to eat, and that nine of them are imposters who beg [so as] to escape work, and with an evil heart, practice imposition upon the generous and sympathetic, and that only one of the ten who visits your doors is worthy of the bounty. Which is best—to give to one or to repulse the ten because you do not know which is the worthy one?
You will all say, administer charitable gifts to the ten, rather than turn away the only truly worthy and truly needy person among them. If you do this, it will make no difference in your blessings, whether you administer to worthy or unworthy persons, inasmuch as you give alms with a single eye to assist the truly needy.
(Journal of Discourses, Vol. 8, p. 12)

Schmoozing with the politicians

2008-03-26T00:16:00.002-06:00

And loving every minute...

Quote of the day

2008-03-22T20:53:00.002-06:00

I loved this quote back in high school, but then it got popular with the local girls so I had to find more unique ones. But the other morning Cecilia and I were wandering about the bookstore and came across it on a greeting card and I fell in love again. Not to mention, I feel like the last two words epitomize my life at the moment.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
-Gilda Radner

Sunshine, Charity Ball, and other joyous occasions

2008-03-22T20:36:00.003-06:00

First off, it's spring. What a beautiful statement to be said. The sun was out in full grandeur today. Austin and I frolicked about town, running the errands and generally enjoying each other's company. We escaped to the backyard hammock of my dear friend David for a little retreat, where we read each other excerpts from my newest novel venture, Affluenza. With the sun beating down on my face, I could not have been more content. Twas a lovely afternoon, but ruined by the dreaded work thing. Now I am here, trapped in my empty, grey cubicle. Yuck. Luckily, I am quitting on Monday!

Charity Ball- one of the highlights of my semester.
Background: A lovely gala for lovely people, organized by students and attended by students. There were a select few VIP guests there, and I had the privilege of being the "handler" to Claralyn Hill, attorney and candidate for state legislature. She was a riot to hang out with all night, and we had the best time chatting it up about politics and school, among other things. We walked around a schmoozed with all the other politicians and guests, and I even got offered a job as a campaign assistant! If I'm still around this summer (which is looking more like a possibility every day), I am definitely going to do this. Because A) we need more Democrats in office in Utah, and B) Claralyn is clearly the most experienced and in tune with the community's needs. So, if you live in the 62nd District in Northeast Provo, don't let the party affiliation scare you away- vote for her!

Although I must say my feet were thinking about abandoning me in favor of a more practical person, my ensemble was stellar**. I got the dress from Banana Republic (a big deal, considering it cost more than I've spent on clothes all year) and the new shoes were from Nordstrom. I absolutely adored both, and felt like a million bucks- so it was well worth spending the money. I did not think I would be the kind to enjoy this event, but I really did have an absolutely fabulous time. There was a silent and live auction, fantastic desserts, and amazing people to talk to. Not to mention, David and cast raised over $20,000 for the United Way!

Other joyous occasions: WomanStats meetings, 472 class, 96% on my last paper, and the majority of my "stuff" for the semester is over and done with. I'm looking forward to a rather relaxing, though quite busy, spring and summer- though right now, I'm in limbo regarding certain decisions pertaining to a most certain future.

** Pictures coming soon!

Stuff white people like

2008-03-20T22:38:00.003-06:00

This blog is fabulous. I feel like such a typical white person. Check out the post about recycling or organic food.

Hunger Banquet

2008-03-18T08:17:00.005-06:00

Fabulous. Two of the best nights of my life thusfar!

We ended up completely selling out both nights, plus some. It was so crowded and fabulous. Friday night, I was assigned as the official baby-sitter for Sister Hudson. Her kids are so much fun. She brought her four boys and two little twin girls, and it was fun to see their family interact. Her presentation was amazing as usual, and it was funny to watch her pre-teen sons so concentrated on what their mom was talking about. And considering it was the effect of gender on world peace, that's saying something.

On Saturday night, I got to play the tourist! It was so fun. Basically, what I did was walk around and act super annoying like an arrogant American tourist. Me and my friend Mo did it, walking around asking to take pictures with the poor people. We also asked where we could buy TAPESTRIES. We bought Taco Bell burritos and carried them around smacking on them. I even traded some handicrafts the low-income sitters made out of crumpled newspaper for bites of my burrito.

I think the Che shirt was the best touch. That was Tristan's idea....

Here's some more pictures:

Inquiry Conference!

2008-03-10T16:13:00.003-06:00

Inquiry Conference was great! I think it all went really well, the presentations were all so informative- I went to mostly all of them and look forward to watching the others on the internet. I think the turn-out at all of them was really impressive too, the room almost consistently had a good number of people. However, faculty support was severely lacking. I was very happy to have Katy at my presentation, right in the front row, making happy faces. Though I was not so nervous right up until I presented, I think it ended up going very well. I said "um" a lot. I need to work on that.... but you be the judge and watch it here.

I love field studies. I love the whole program, the people that are involved in field studies, the facilitators, and the simple opportunity to get a tiny taste of cross-cultural research while an undergraduate. I know I have and will continue to benefit greatly from going to South Africa with BYU field studies.

Advice for sister missionaries, 1972

2008-03-08T20:35:00.001-07:00

Carry a combination rain-wind bonnet, some tissues, and a couple of disposable, scented towels in your handbag. (The towels are nice for freshening up during a day away from your flat.)

Spark up those drab colors with scarves and bows.

Expect and then allow elders to open doors, help into cars, put on wraps, and start your motor bikes. Do not ignore their efforts, but do not be obnoxious if they should forget sometimes.

Have a BNTE Week (Be Nice to Elders Week) where you either cook something good or do something nice for your district. If you do this, remember that this week especially you must work like a whirlwind so no one can say that you borrowed the Lord’s time. Make it a top week in service and in work also.

Always participate with the elders on preparation day. If it is something you cannot do, then at least be there to watch or cheer. This does wonders for mutual respect between elders and sisters.

If you get depressed, set aside a little time that day to do whatever raises your spirits. For example, spend extra time on your hair, take a long shower, schedule a time for meditation, and then pray earnestly for help from the Lord. Lose yourself in the Spirit and work very, very hard.

Elders’ most frequent complaints are about sisters’ hair. Have a neat and easy style—not too short or it will look like the elders’, and long enough so that it can be curled on Sunday and for special occasions.

Never, never eat late at night! When you come home late after a discussion and you have not had time for dinner, eat a little salad or fruit and then go straight to bed and think how much skinnier you will be by not eating a large meal until morning.

If you are one pound overweight, it is too much. Take it off!

News stories

2008-03-07T13:07:00.002-07:00

The Daily Herald
The Deseret Morning News
BYU NewsNet

Yay.

More rally pictures

2008-03-06T13:50:00.003-07:00

Rally-time

2008-03-06T13:43:00.002-07:00

Wow. So, all of the hours and sleepless nights this week were more than worth it to organize and follow-through with this rally. Carl did a great job getting the rally approved through BYU, and I think we both did an awesome job organizing it. The posters looked great. We put them on the ground all over the JFSB quad and had so many people stopping to see what was going on. We also had quite a bit of media there, not only the Daily Universe but the Daily Herald, the Salt Lake Tribune, and Deseret Morning News. We marched to the Wilk, where Dr. Hudson gave us a thirty-minute lecture/inspirational speech on gender violence issues and equality in Zion. It was great, as usual.

I hate BYUSA elections.

2008-03-04T13:53:00.000-07:00

Enough said.

Random WomanStats fact of the day

2008-03-02T00:58:00.003-07:00

In Jordan, you are required by law to breastfeed your baby.

Back when we were young...

2008-03-01T11:40:00.003-07:00

Some guy in one of my classes randomly had this picture. Back when I was social and had long hair.

Another so-called "power letter" for your reading enjoyment

2008-02-26T11:08:00.002-07:00

President Bott,

I wish at this time to respectfully address the lecture you gave on Wednesday, February 20. You spoke of sisters serving missions and there were a few points that I noted that are contradictory, in my comprehension of the doctrines of the Church, to the teachings of the prophets.

First off, my main concern was the idea that you expressed concerning the relationship between a husband a wife. I believed the words you used were "subservient" and "subordinate," ultimately stating that a wife is not equal to her husband in gospel authority. You advised the sisters to not attempt to be "bearers" of the priesthood, and take the sideline in our marriage regarding the gospel so that our husbands could advance in their priesthood to become leaders. However, according to President Hinckley, women "are as entitled as are men to the Spirit of Christ, which enlightens every man and woman who comes into the world." In my understanding of the gospel principles, just because a women does not literally hold the priesthood does not mean that she is not equal to her husband in authority and that she should not exercise this authority. In order to become a truly Zion society, women and men must be equal in authority and responsibility both within the family and within the councils of the Church. President Kimball spoke to women, saying "We do not want our LDS women to be silent partners or limited partners in that eternal assignment, be a contributing and full partner." I believe that although women do not hold the priesthood right now in this life, they have every right to access it and utilize it, hence "bearing" it in essence to benefit their children and families. And again, even though men do hold within themselves the authority to perform certain sacred ordinances in building up the kingdom, according to John A. Widtsoe "No man who understands the gospel believes that he is greater than his wife, or more beloved of the Lord, because he holds the priesthood."

Moreover, I thought your comment telling the sisters to "get over their PMS" and stop being wusses was incredibly misogynistic and discriminatory. It is statements such as these that propagate the gender stereotypes that are so detrimental to the building up of Zion. Perhaps there are those women that do need to address certain emotional issues before they go on missions, but I guarantee there are an equal number of men that also should. Moreover, if females do act moody or otherwise challenged, it is because society has socialized them to act this way. There is nothing innately female that says I must become moody just because of my hormones; it is usually from what I have seen, an active decision to use hormones as an excuse to be rude to people. And in regards to girls not being as tough as the guys when it comes to handling the rigors of life, the strongest people I have met are usually women. Throughout history, women have performed a lion's share of the daily labor compared to the men. Even today in the world, the UN asserts that women perform 2/3 of the world's work yet receive only 1/10 of its income. Moreover, if girls are always told that they are not as tough and strong as the boys, they will be conditioned to believe it and then will become weaker. As a Church community, we must all recognize the systematic discrimination and structured gender roles that the fallen world has outlined in order to break a vicious cycle.

Again, I sincerely hope that ultimately this is not what you meant nor is it what all the other students took away from the lecture. Maybe I am unusually sensitized to these issues, but I would appreciate it if you would take the time to reevaluate your thoughts concerning women as missionaries and ultimately wives, mothers, and leaders within the Church. I know you have incredible influence over the hundreds of students you teach, especially the males. If you continue to teach them that the women in their lives are emotionally-unfit for missions and subordinate to them in marriage, they will listen. I fear that many of them will take these teachings and fail to develop celestial marriages based on divine equality as instructed by our Heavenly Father.

Sincerely,
Caitlin Carroll (801.318.0167)

CC: President Cecil O. Samuelson, Dr. Terry B. Ball, Dr. Arnold K. Garr

I just could not keep these little gems to myself

2008-02-25T19:27:00.001-07:00

LDS housewives on "The Joy of Being a Woman":

"Give away all your haughty rights, prejudices, opinions, even the right to a divorce, even the children (actually they are his anyway, aren’t they?). Ask his advice on things, without even thinking what you would like first, and accept it. (You may slip back from time to time, but let him know that it isn’t permanent and that you are still dedicated)… Don’t allow yourself to have hurt feelings. If you have displeased him, just honestly tell him that you are sorry and that you’ll correct it… Your single and most compelling desire is to obey and please him 100%. As you do this you’ll never have to worry about yourself again: your needs, wants, or welfare" (Maxfield 1972, 198-199)

"I know that there are some women who might read these things and the idea of complete submission sends chills of agonizing fear into their hearts, but I have heard fear referred to as lack of faith" (Maxfield 1972, 200)

A beautiful night at the Cabin

2008-02-25T08:57:00.005-07:00

Twas a glorious night at the cabin. There was snow-playing, tea-drinking, and fashion-showing. Now it's back to the daily grind of life. Bleh.

Hunger Banquet nightmare

2008-02-23T21:09:00.002-07:00

So, last night, our dear friend Thelma came into town from D.C. where she is saving Burma from certain destruction. In light of this, we had a giant sleepover on the hideaway bed in the "flat's" basement. Creepy creepy basement. I woke with a start in the middle of the night because I had a terrible nightmare about HB. I walked in, wearing my old ratty green sweatpants and a t-shirt. I look around the Wilk and there is not a single decoration to be seen. Moreover, Mary runs up to me freaking out because it started 10 minutes ago and I never decorated. I look on the floor and there are no blankets like I was supposed to acquire, but those portable little seats parents use at their kid's Varsity football game because they can't take the bleachers. I was terrified. I run in the bathroom and try to throw myself together, I grab this bag out of the trashcan and it has some Indian sari in it so I put that on. Then I walk back out and Mary is talking to some Aborgines in Aborginal language because they are going to dance for us. Then I look out and there are less than 10 people in the audience. Then I wake up. And then I make delicious muffins for everyone.

I feel as if I need to get workin' on my projects for HB. I cannot believe I only have three weeks left. Eeeeeek.

Man, was I angsty!

2008-02-19T22:37:00.002-07:00

So, in my perpetual state of procrastination, I discovered this.

My blog from senior year of high school.
Some highlights:

"i just dance around my room naked all the time because i'm so happy"

"but then again, you could always run away from the lesbians undressing you with their eyes. that would be a plus." (apparently, I used to be a homophobe...)

"we're thinking it's either benjamin if she gets her way, or gavin if he gets his way. let's pray lauren doesn't give in, but gavin could grow on me too." (and so it has)

"i lost my kumquat virginity. yesterday."

"i sliced my heart out; so, you could eat it for lunch if you want." (again, the emo-ness... geeeeeeez Caitlin!)

and somethings never change:
"major procrastination going on. i hate writing papers."

happy reading.

Singin' in the rain

2008-02-19T17:19:00.002-07:00

I found these old pictures on my computer today and they make me happy. Playing in the rain with Megan & Gavin, Gavin and his sniffy blankie.

Equal exchange chocolates

2008-02-19T16:09:00.002-07:00

I just have to have a plug about this amazing chocolate. It tastes amazing, absolutely wonderful, and it's fair trade! I'm totally willing to pay a little more for this kind of thing. Yum.

"Our organic fairly-traded gourmet chocolate bars are a rich and delicious treat that supports small-scale farmers and their families. The bars combine famous Swiss standards in chocolate making with cocoa from the farmer cooperatives CONACADO, in the Dominican Republic, and CACVRA, in Peru; fairly traded organic sugar from cooperatives in Paraguay and Costa Rica; and milk (in the Milk Chocolate) from a cooperative in the U.S."

To find out where you can purchase it, check out their website.

I must say my favorite is the Very Dark Chocolate, but I also love the Dark w/ Almonds and the Mint Milk Chocolate.