Letters by Caitlin

Letters by Caitlin. (brought to you by Kayla and Thelma)


Dear 2.61% of Utah voters,

Why, oh why, did you vote for SUPERDELL for Governor of Utah? Besides the plethora of criminal charges that include paragliding over I-15 in rush hour traffic, he is also a ridiculously racist bigot. He called homosexuals faggots, once said a fictitious Native American tribe died out because they were not intellectual enough (and then "Schanze refused [to apologize] in an email sent to the entire company further disparaging Native Americans and stating that all Native Americans are adulterers due to the naming of the Bureau of Indian "Affairs"), and proclaimed the only reason his critics were still alive was by the grace of God and SUPERDELL. He was also banned from editing on Wikipedia (according to Wikipedia). Did you know ANYTHING before you went into that voting booth? ANYTHING?

Sincerely,
A very concerned citizen



Dear University towing company,

How come you towed my car Friday night during my hot date to the international cinema? Do you think your one little sign up in the corner on the side of the building is really adequate to let people know they cannot park in your large, usually empty, and practically deserted parking lot after the hour of 8 pm? You are jerks.

Sincerely,
Why is it always me?



Dear Prop 8 protestors,

I'm with you. But please do not call my prophet names. I respect your right to protest, and I agree with you on many accords, but that is just not right in my book.

Sincerely,
A faithful saint against Prop 8



Dear husband,

Why are you so dang hot? I like when you break the honor code. Facial hair looks great on you.

Sincerely,
Your adoring wife