Saturday, June 28, 2008
Two little Yemeni girls
Thelms sent me this article via g-chat today and I think it is absolutely inspiriring. It tells the story of these little girls, forced into marriages with much older men, a depressing tale. However, read deeper. Imagine these little girls' lives. Close your eyes and picture little Nujood walking out of her house alone for the first time in her life, hailing a taxi, and walking into a courthouse. A little girl suffocated in a male-dominated world. Consider her bravery and her strength. Maybe they have so much courage because they are so young, not yet indoctrinated into the culture, not yet able to sense real fear and danger. This small tale is truly inspiring. What am I afraid to do that I've always wanted to do? Who I am to be hesitant to jump right in? And what can I do to make this world into something more beautiful and kind and peaceful? Two little Yemeni girls taught me a little about life today.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Blog-readers!
Oh wait blog-readers...
before you can officially meet Tim, I'd love to know who you are!
Pelzer, SC?
Mountain View, CA?
Tillamook, Oregon?
I'd just like to know so I can better serve your blog-reading needs. I'm just as guilty as stalking as anyone though, so understandable if you want to keep your identity under wraps... I do LOVE my blog-readers though, don't get me wrong.
*Comments also welcome.
before you can officially meet Tim, I'd love to know who you are!
Pelzer, SC?
Mountain View, CA?
Tillamook, Oregon?
I'd just like to know so I can better serve your blog-reading needs. I'm just as guilty as stalking as anyone though, so understandable if you want to keep your identity under wraps... I do LOVE my blog-readers though, don't get me wrong.
*Comments also welcome.
Introducing... Tim!
Ok blog-readers. I think it's time I made some introductions.
Blog-readers, meet Tim.
A little background.
One day, it was my first Sunday in my new ward that I had just moved in to. I was walking home with my roommate and a random tall awkward boy. He finds out my name and says something to the effect of "Do you hate having two first names? Kate and Lynn? I will call you Kate (Cait)" And I thought nothing of it except maybe, that is little strange, who is this guy?
Flash forward 2? weeks: Again at church. The boy is teaching Sunday School. I comment. I am mildly attracted to him. He's funny. He tells a great story about going to buy a milkshake and there are two sizes: Medium and Regular. The girl behind the counter doesn't understand why Tim thinks it's weird they are both sizes since they are the same. Regular is clearly larger than Medium. Duh. After Sunday School, I would like to sit by this boy in Sacrament Meeting. I think about it. I contemplate it. I sit across the room, naturally. After church, I'm reading outside the building, waiting for Austin to get out of her meetings so I can go over to fetch my belongings from her condo. Boy walks out of church. Boy sits down. We make small talk. We talk about high heels and how morally opposed I am to them (I already DI-ed the ones I wore to the wedding, I promise!) There is mutual attraction, at least in my opinion. We part ways.
Flash forward to the next day: FHE at his apartment. We play a rather sexist game of Battle of the Sexes. I'm not impressed with the game, but I am impressed with his book collection. I tell him so and ask to borrow one. FHE is over. I leave and go home. I'm sitting in my basement when I hear a knock on my door. I run upstairs but am too late, but I do see him walking away. I do not say anything because I'm still not so sure that it is the right time to start anything. I'm going on a mission after all.
The next day?: I think it was the next day. I go over on the way to a friend's house to pick up that book. He wants to hang out on Saturday. I have to work. We plan on Sunday, after Break the Fast (are any non-singles ward people understanding our various strange traditions?) I'm not wearing shoes. He likes it, come to find out.
Sunday: We try to sit together in Sunday School but my roommate is between us. I really want him to be next to me. It's weird. After church, Halle Mehalic calls me and wants to hang out. I take her to BTF and then we run away early because it's awkward and I can't talk to him in front of everyone. After Halle is leaving I try to find him; strangely enough he is sitting on my couch, thinking I'm getting ready to hang out with him. I walk through the front door and it's confusing for both of us. We chat. Halle leaves. He has set up miniature golf in his apartment using a random assortment of DI decor. I think it's cute. I like him.
Monday: After FHE, we walk to the library and rent old movies. We watch 3:10 to Yuma. He asks to hold my hand and I concede.
Tues, Wed, Thurs...: I avoid him. I'm freaked out. I sleep at Celia's. I do not want to do it. He comes by and leaves me prunes. My roommates think I have GI problems.
The next few weeks are a blur: I stop being stubborn and admit I do want to hang out with him more. One thing leads to another. I invite him camping the night Dev and Hill get engaged. We kiss. and kiss. and kiss. We really like to kiss. We talk. We really like to talk. We like to hold hands and walk around at night. We also like laying on his couch watching movies. He's one of the most thoughtful people I've ever talked with. He's incredibly well-read. He watches good movies. Best of all, he likes me back. He's strong enough to handle my strength. He thinks I smoke pot and likes that I wear the same thing everyday. He's not intimidated by me. When we're together, it feels wonderful and natural and like I could do it the rest of my life and be perfectly content.
I think you will find that you are fast friends, blog-readers and Tim. You're some of my most favorite people and he is quickly rising in the ranks ;)
Blog-readers, meet Tim.
A little background.
One day, it was my first Sunday in my new ward that I had just moved in to. I was walking home with my roommate and a random tall awkward boy. He finds out my name and says something to the effect of "Do you hate having two first names? Kate and Lynn? I will call you Kate (Cait)" And I thought nothing of it except maybe, that is little strange, who is this guy?
Flash forward 2? weeks: Again at church. The boy is teaching Sunday School. I comment. I am mildly attracted to him. He's funny. He tells a great story about going to buy a milkshake and there are two sizes: Medium and Regular. The girl behind the counter doesn't understand why Tim thinks it's weird they are both sizes since they are the same. Regular is clearly larger than Medium. Duh. After Sunday School, I would like to sit by this boy in Sacrament Meeting. I think about it. I contemplate it. I sit across the room, naturally. After church, I'm reading outside the building, waiting for Austin to get out of her meetings so I can go over to fetch my belongings from her condo. Boy walks out of church. Boy sits down. We make small talk. We talk about high heels and how morally opposed I am to them (I already DI-ed the ones I wore to the wedding, I promise!) There is mutual attraction, at least in my opinion. We part ways.
Flash forward to the next day: FHE at his apartment. We play a rather sexist game of Battle of the Sexes. I'm not impressed with the game, but I am impressed with his book collection. I tell him so and ask to borrow one. FHE is over. I leave and go home. I'm sitting in my basement when I hear a knock on my door. I run upstairs but am too late, but I do see him walking away. I do not say anything because I'm still not so sure that it is the right time to start anything. I'm going on a mission after all.
The next day?: I think it was the next day. I go over on the way to a friend's house to pick up that book. He wants to hang out on Saturday. I have to work. We plan on Sunday, after Break the Fast (are any non-singles ward people understanding our various strange traditions?) I'm not wearing shoes. He likes it, come to find out.
Sunday: We try to sit together in Sunday School but my roommate is between us. I really want him to be next to me. It's weird. After church, Halle Mehalic calls me and wants to hang out. I take her to BTF and then we run away early because it's awkward and I can't talk to him in front of everyone. After Halle is leaving I try to find him; strangely enough he is sitting on my couch, thinking I'm getting ready to hang out with him. I walk through the front door and it's confusing for both of us. We chat. Halle leaves. He has set up miniature golf in his apartment using a random assortment of DI decor. I think it's cute. I like him.
Monday: After FHE, we walk to the library and rent old movies. We watch 3:10 to Yuma. He asks to hold my hand and I concede.
Tues, Wed, Thurs...: I avoid him. I'm freaked out. I sleep at Celia's. I do not want to do it. He comes by and leaves me prunes. My roommates think I have GI problems.
The next few weeks are a blur: I stop being stubborn and admit I do want to hang out with him more. One thing leads to another. I invite him camping the night Dev and Hill get engaged. We kiss. and kiss. and kiss. We really like to kiss. We talk. We really like to talk. We like to hold hands and walk around at night. We also like laying on his couch watching movies. He's one of the most thoughtful people I've ever talked with. He's incredibly well-read. He watches good movies. Best of all, he likes me back. He's strong enough to handle my strength. He thinks I smoke pot and likes that I wear the same thing everyday. He's not intimidated by me. When we're together, it feels wonderful and natural and like I could do it the rest of my life and be perfectly content.
I think you will find that you are fast friends, blog-readers and Tim. You're some of my most favorite people and he is quickly rising in the ranks ;)
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Ani DiFranco and musings about life
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I just wrote a whole long post about the concert, then accidentally deleted it by 'navigating away from the page'. SO. Here's a carbon copy, hopefully.
Last night, my awesome friend Elisse and I went to our first ever Ani DiFranco concert!!! Thusfar, it was hands-down the best night of the summer for me. The night was perfect, the sunset was beautiful, and we spread out Elisse's gorgeous green quilt and sat on the grass, soaking up the lesbians and pot and liberating vibes. And the music was DIVINE. I don't know how to describe how cool Ani's voice is, how penetrating her lyrics are, or how she just talked to us like we were the best of friends. She rocks SO hardcore on her guitar, she had to super glue her pick to her fingers so it wouldn't slip! She sang a lot of her classic songs, like 32 Flavors and Both Hands and Not a Pretty Girl but she also threw some nice ones in about the ludicrous war and nuclear bombs and fallen patriarchy and the religious right. I've never felt such solidarity with a group of people. I felt like these people, though SO outwardly different than me in appearance and lifestyle really understood my inner spirit.
And... Elisse is SO COOL! I only wish that we had become friends years ago instead of meeting a few months ago. If only she wasn't running off and getting married, moving to NYC, and teaching those special education children in the poorest schools in the country. GEEZ. Nonetheless, it was a fabulous last hurrah bachelorette party before she ties the knot and says goodbye to this stage of her life. What a better way to do that than to express your inner righteous babe among a crowd of people that feel the same way. I love women. I love feeling so feminine and empowered. It is a really hot feeling. There is nothing like being indepedent and liberated and educated and ready to tackle the world. There is something so powerful about this generation of girls... or maybe it is just the age we are at right now, but I think of as the crusaders. At least I'm on a crusade to get rid of the repressive gender roles our society inflicts upon us. So I'm not going to wear make-up every day and do my hair and wear high heels and be a stay-at-home mom and take my husband's last name. WHATEVERRRRRRRRR. That does not make me a bad female! Our society is so concerned with the petty socially-constructed gender roles that we forget about the big picture. There are individual circumstances and personalities and quirks that are so difficult to express in so-called 'normal' ways because we are so strictly defined in our roles.
Being at that concert made me think a lot about my role in the world. Obviously, I'm not a hardcore, pot-smoking, lesbian. And I'm not like some of my friends who are suburban Mormon housewives (and I don't see anything at all wrong with either lifestyle. It's personal agency, as long as you are not pushed into the roles by society and it's a choice, I'm fully supportive of whatever lifestyle you choose to live, within reason of course). But I think I'm prepared to create a happy medium for myself. Yes, I want to get married. I have strong maternal instincts and am super anxious to be a mother. But I also want to still be able to be a feminist and tkae my little girls to Ani concerts and teach them there is NOTHING they can not do with their lives and they can be whoever they want. I want to try SO hard to not push roles on them and create their lives for them. Sometimes I look back on my life and realize just how much of it was planned out for me, my mother forcing me into roles in which I did not want to play the part. I wanted her approval along with everyone else's surrounding me, but it was not who I really was. And I was utterly miserable and went through a long period where I was depressed and anxious and just generally unhappy. I knew I was different from those little blonde rich girls that I was always made to be friends with when I was little, but to me different was wrong and bad. I wanted more than anything to be like them and fit in and not have wild and crazy curly red hair, not be so darn smart and bookish or loud and brutally honest. And no matter the birthday parties I was invited to or the fact our moms schemed to put us in the same classes (I still remember going to look at our class lists and my mom making sure that I was in a "white" class with other little preppy white girls. I probably didn't react to it then, but it makes me absolutely ill now), I never had any real friends until the end of high school and perhaps save a few individuals, I may not have had any real friends until college. I'm so grateful I truly found who I really am and I am SO happy with the woman I have become. I love that I surround myself with people who I don't have to pretend around. I can say what comes to my mind and my crazy thoughts and ideas and act like myself without worrying about people thinking I'm weird. Because we're all weird! So thanks college friends (especially Elisse for going to see Ani with me!). You've made me into the person I truly love. And I think last night just helped reaffirm that to me.
Last night, my awesome friend Elisse and I went to our first ever Ani DiFranco concert!!! Thusfar, it was hands-down the best night of the summer for me. The night was perfect, the sunset was beautiful, and we spread out Elisse's gorgeous green quilt and sat on the grass, soaking up the lesbians and pot and liberating vibes. And the music was DIVINE. I don't know how to describe how cool Ani's voice is, how penetrating her lyrics are, or how she just talked to us like we were the best of friends. She rocks SO hardcore on her guitar, she had to super glue her pick to her fingers so it wouldn't slip! She sang a lot of her classic songs, like 32 Flavors and Both Hands and Not a Pretty Girl but she also threw some nice ones in about the ludicrous war and nuclear bombs and fallen patriarchy and the religious right. I've never felt such solidarity with a group of people. I felt like these people, though SO outwardly different than me in appearance and lifestyle really understood my inner spirit.
And... Elisse is SO COOL! I only wish that we had become friends years ago instead of meeting a few months ago. If only she wasn't running off and getting married, moving to NYC, and teaching those special education children in the poorest schools in the country. GEEZ. Nonetheless, it was a fabulous last hurrah bachelorette party before she ties the knot and says goodbye to this stage of her life. What a better way to do that than to express your inner righteous babe among a crowd of people that feel the same way. I love women. I love feeling so feminine and empowered. It is a really hot feeling. There is nothing like being indepedent and liberated and educated and ready to tackle the world. There is something so powerful about this generation of girls... or maybe it is just the age we are at right now, but I think of as the crusaders. At least I'm on a crusade to get rid of the repressive gender roles our society inflicts upon us. So I'm not going to wear make-up every day and do my hair and wear high heels and be a stay-at-home mom and take my husband's last name. WHATEVERRRRRRRRR. That does not make me a bad female! Our society is so concerned with the petty socially-constructed gender roles that we forget about the big picture. There are individual circumstances and personalities and quirks that are so difficult to express in so-called 'normal' ways because we are so strictly defined in our roles.
Being at that concert made me think a lot about my role in the world. Obviously, I'm not a hardcore, pot-smoking, lesbian. And I'm not like some of my friends who are suburban Mormon housewives (and I don't see anything at all wrong with either lifestyle. It's personal agency, as long as you are not pushed into the roles by society and it's a choice, I'm fully supportive of whatever lifestyle you choose to live, within reason of course). But I think I'm prepared to create a happy medium for myself. Yes, I want to get married. I have strong maternal instincts and am super anxious to be a mother. But I also want to still be able to be a feminist and tkae my little girls to Ani concerts and teach them there is NOTHING they can not do with their lives and they can be whoever they want. I want to try SO hard to not push roles on them and create their lives for them. Sometimes I look back on my life and realize just how much of it was planned out for me, my mother forcing me into roles in which I did not want to play the part. I wanted her approval along with everyone else's surrounding me, but it was not who I really was. And I was utterly miserable and went through a long period where I was depressed and anxious and just generally unhappy. I knew I was different from those little blonde rich girls that I was always made to be friends with when I was little, but to me different was wrong and bad. I wanted more than anything to be like them and fit in and not have wild and crazy curly red hair, not be so darn smart and bookish or loud and brutally honest. And no matter the birthday parties I was invited to or the fact our moms schemed to put us in the same classes (I still remember going to look at our class lists and my mom making sure that I was in a "white" class with other little preppy white girls. I probably didn't react to it then, but it makes me absolutely ill now), I never had any real friends until the end of high school and perhaps save a few individuals, I may not have had any real friends until college. I'm so grateful I truly found who I really am and I am SO happy with the woman I have become. I love that I surround myself with people who I don't have to pretend around. I can say what comes to my mind and my crazy thoughts and ideas and act like myself without worrying about people thinking I'm weird. Because we're all weird! So thanks college friends (especially Elisse for going to see Ani with me!). You've made me into the person I truly love. And I think last night just helped reaffirm that to me.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Ingrid sings about my secret dream life
I will live my life as a lobster man's wife on an island in the blue bay.
He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea, and close to my heart he'll always stay.
I will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and Nelly and Faye.
while I'm combing their hair, I will catch his warm stare
on our island in the blue bay.
Far away far away, I want to go far away to a new life on a new shore line
where the water is blue and the people are new,
to another island, in another life.
Just sounds ideal.
He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea, and close to my heart he'll always stay.
I will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and Nelly and Faye.
while I'm combing their hair, I will catch his warm stare
on our island in the blue bay.
Far away far away, I want to go far away to a new life on a new shore line
where the water is blue and the people are new,
to another island, in another life.
Just sounds ideal.
Monday, June 9, 2008
So I had a meeting with my bishop yesterday. He's an awesome guy. He's a political science professor, so we started off talking about nuclear weapons as deterrents and then we got on to how he protested nukes in the 1980s at the Nevada test site and got on CNN, and how he is total liberal hippie. We get along well. Yesterday in our meeting he pointed out some of my major character traits and how they could help or hurt my missionary work. Just thought it was interesting how much he knew about me after only knowing me for a few weeks, I also inserted some of my own interpretation but all in all, this is what he told me. I love revelation.
1. Impatience. I am incredibly impatient. I want everything and I want it all, RIGHT NOW. I don't like to wait. I'm a quick mover. This could either be good in that I will work very hard, always moving on the next appointment or activity. Or it could be bad in that I will want everyone to get baptized right away and I will have to learn how to allow people their own time tables. Also, I don't like waiting long periods of time for answers to prayers. I need to learn to surrender my will to Heavenly Father's and allow him to work through me.
2. Independence. I value my alone time. A lot. I don't like being told to do, I don't like spending large amounts of time with other people. I love being alone. I value my silence. This will be hard in many ways. First off, the whole 24/7 companion thing. I like to do my own thing, so I know it will be difficult adjusting to having someone there all the time, an equal partner in decision-making. On the other hand, he thinks it will be good marriage-training, since a huge barrier I have to relationships is my inability to commit to spending time with people on a regular schedule. Also I tire of people really easily, so maybe it will help with that too.
3. My inability to adhere to any kind of schedule. Inspirational spontaneity and flexibility are very key traits that a lot of missionaries fail to develop since they are so rigid in their scheduling. I, on the other hand, am the queen of spontaneity. I do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it. Schedules and me are not very good friends. I try to stick to the important things (school, church, etc) but beyond that my days are not planned. On a mission, I'll need to plan my days, but luckily there is some room for interpretation.
4. My intense love of people. Though I enjoy alone time, I LOVE people. I have a keen sense of understanding and empathy. This is mostly a quality that I would continue to develop, but it also will be hard because it will lead to more intense disappointment.
That's all I can recall at the moment. By the way, did I mention my papers are in again? Third time is a charm, I suppose. Any friendly wagers on where the good Lord is sending me?
1. Impatience. I am incredibly impatient. I want everything and I want it all, RIGHT NOW. I don't like to wait. I'm a quick mover. This could either be good in that I will work very hard, always moving on the next appointment or activity. Or it could be bad in that I will want everyone to get baptized right away and I will have to learn how to allow people their own time tables. Also, I don't like waiting long periods of time for answers to prayers. I need to learn to surrender my will to Heavenly Father's and allow him to work through me.
2. Independence. I value my alone time. A lot. I don't like being told to do, I don't like spending large amounts of time with other people. I love being alone. I value my silence. This will be hard in many ways. First off, the whole 24/7 companion thing. I like to do my own thing, so I know it will be difficult adjusting to having someone there all the time, an equal partner in decision-making. On the other hand, he thinks it will be good marriage-training, since a huge barrier I have to relationships is my inability to commit to spending time with people on a regular schedule. Also I tire of people really easily, so maybe it will help with that too.
3. My inability to adhere to any kind of schedule. Inspirational spontaneity and flexibility are very key traits that a lot of missionaries fail to develop since they are so rigid in their scheduling. I, on the other hand, am the queen of spontaneity. I do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it. Schedules and me are not very good friends. I try to stick to the important things (school, church, etc) but beyond that my days are not planned. On a mission, I'll need to plan my days, but luckily there is some room for interpretation.
4. My intense love of people. Though I enjoy alone time, I LOVE people. I have a keen sense of understanding and empathy. This is mostly a quality that I would continue to develop, but it also will be hard because it will lead to more intense disappointment.
That's all I can recall at the moment. By the way, did I mention my papers are in again? Third time is a charm, I suppose. Any friendly wagers on where the good Lord is sending me?
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Camping
Please do excuse my severe lack of blogging. I have had blogger's block, with not much going on interesing enough to share with the world wide web. Not to mention I have been incredibly busy with working, schooling, volunteering, and socializing (And I did not mistype... SOCIALIZING. For those of you who do not know me as well, this is kind of a big deal.) I started my new job at the Women's Shelter in Provo and I LOVE it thusfar. It's a huge challenge, but I thrive on that. It's demanding and chaotic, but so much more rewarding than sitting in a call center for a security system company (yes, I admit it. I used to work for one. please, shame me.) Of course, the pay is about half of what I was making there, but I wouldn't trade the extra money for anything. I love interacting with the women, getting to know them and their children better, and just generally being in control of my own work. Not to mention I really like everyone else that works here. I fit in. It's a change :)
So... on to the real subject of this post. Last night's camping expedition in which (drum roll please...) my brother got engaged!!! That's right, Devin popped the question to our dear Hillary Tresnak, and they are getting married in August. We are all thrilled. It was pretty funny how it all happened though. I went with her to pick out the ring last week so that he could buy it. However, he ended up deciding not to buy the one she picked out because he wanted to be certain she had one she really loved, so instead I gave him my fake diamond Wal-Mart ring that I got in high school when Rob and I were fake engaged for an evening. It's actually a pretty sweet ring. While we were up at Squaw Peak, Dev slipped the ring into Hillary's jacket pocket and she didn't notice a thing! Then, when all of us were sitting around the campfire, Devin sang her a song he had written her (it was rather cheesy) and then attempted to retrieve the ring to propose. Funny enough, he couldn't get it out of the pocket. It was rather anti-climatic, here he was proposing with no ring. Finally, after a few moments of digging through the pocket (conveniently and awkwardly located by her boobs) he found it buried deep, took it out, said some words and proposed. They kissed a lot. It was pretty dang romantic. Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures, we tried but it was too dark for cell phone cameras.
The end.
So... on to the real subject of this post. Last night's camping expedition in which (drum roll please...) my brother got engaged!!! That's right, Devin popped the question to our dear Hillary Tresnak, and they are getting married in August. We are all thrilled. It was pretty funny how it all happened though. I went with her to pick out the ring last week so that he could buy it. However, he ended up deciding not to buy the one she picked out because he wanted to be certain she had one she really loved, so instead I gave him my fake diamond Wal-Mart ring that I got in high school when Rob and I were fake engaged for an evening. It's actually a pretty sweet ring. While we were up at Squaw Peak, Dev slipped the ring into Hillary's jacket pocket and she didn't notice a thing! Then, when all of us were sitting around the campfire, Devin sang her a song he had written her (it was rather cheesy) and then attempted to retrieve the ring to propose. Funny enough, he couldn't get it out of the pocket. It was rather anti-climatic, here he was proposing with no ring. Finally, after a few moments of digging through the pocket (conveniently and awkwardly located by her boobs) he found it buried deep, took it out, said some words and proposed. They kissed a lot. It was pretty dang romantic. Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures, we tried but it was too dark for cell phone cameras.
The end.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
