No, I'm not talking about cheating. That would be immoral. My method of getting a 4.0 while not studying is by killing my roommate, which I inadvertently almost did last night.
Cleaning checks are this strange BYU phenomena that cut down on the negative externalities associated with being a renter as opposed to an owner and attempts to free-load from your roommate's cleanliness. They occur usually once a month, and they are stressful to everyone involved because the incentive for passing is saving you anywhere from between 20 and 50 dollars. After cleaning for approximately 8 hours Sunday and Monday, at around 2 in the morning last night I was down to my last noodle. Although I had finished my job, I decided to help out my roommate Hailey who was avoiding the toilets she was assigned to clean. I would've too: they are black on the inside and look as if they have not been cleaned since BYU was Brigham Young Academy. I grab some toilet bowl cleaner and a scrub brush and have at them. After a few minutes of useless scrubbing, I look back under the cabinet and find the Clorox. Ah-ha! Clorox solves all of life's problem. I opened the cap and began to pour. Before I even had a chance to grab the scrubber, the room filled with fumes and I near passed out. I flushed the toilet quickly and rushed to my window where I stuck my head out sputtering and gasping and coughing. Meanwhile, Cecilia wanders into the bathroom and then by the time I walk back out she has passed out on Becca and Katy's floor and is doing this weird thing It wasn't a seizure like Devin has but her muscles were clenching and it really freaked uso out. We pick her up and put her on the bed and open all the windows to get air in and I turn the fan on. After a minute of not getting better, I called 911 and the paramedics came to check her out. I told them they can't take her because it costs money so they came up to the bedroom and took pressure and pulse and then one of the big, strong paramedics carried her next door to recover on their couch.
We passed our cleaning check. All is well in the world.
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1 comment:
Sounds like you created chlorine gas. Very Nazi-esque way to kill your roommate, but I think you are smart enough to get a 4.0 without harming Cecelia.
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